Beach Book 

Beach Book 

Still

We still haven't won a softball game. But Tueday was close. After a trip to the batting cage, I'm back to normal and hitting well. Two games this week. I love playing ball! And I have all new socks. I got rid of all my old white ones, and bought 2 packs of new ones at Target. I know, this is not a deal to anyone else. But my OCD absolutely adores looking into a drawer and having 16 pairs of perfectly uniform, clean, fresh socks. And there's NO cotton in them, so I can run and not get blisters. They look so good in my running shoes...

Dream

My dream this morning: Erica goes into labor. I am supposed to be working in the ER within the next few hours, so we head to the hospital. I go to the ER, where her program director is waiting for me. He acts like he doesn't know who I am, who Erica is, and why I need time off to go be with her. He's laughing and I can tell he's doing it just to be mean. So I tell him I'm leaving and he can't stop me. And that's what happens. So I get back upstairs, reunited with Erica, where the fetal heart rate monitor AND the uterine monitor look like EKG strips. This is ridiculous. If that weren't enough, they start going into V-tach and all these OB residents are running around trying to push drugs in E's IV. I cause a major scene and tell them that no uterus could ever be in V-tach. I was to my boiling point with frustration, E was getting woozy, and I wouldn't let them touch her. Then I woke up.

Why in the world would I have some stressful dream? I would love to just enjoy a dream for once. But my theory has always been: dreams, at least for me, are just a subconscious opportunity to purge all the fears, doubts, stresses, and (frankly) perversions that I'm not even aware of having. My dreams are so primal. I know that's what mine are about - because I always feel so cleansed and refreshed after a worry dream. We've been so excited about having a baby someday, and I guess there are always some fears and worries when you go on any adventure like that.

Anyway.... I just mowed my yard in 100-degree heat. Actually I did the front yard last night after dinner and the back today. I am drenched. My yard is like a dried up dust field. Then I took the recycling and got gas. At the gas station, I got a Gatorade, M&M's, and Chewy Sprees. Awesome. I just consumed about 70 grams of carbs, and I enjoyed EVERY SINGLE ONE of them.

We had Satellite for breakfast with Alex and Landon. We always go there with them. It was really good, too. But not as good as my candy. Ran into the whole Joheim clan there, and we had just been over to their house last night! What a treat.

Erica only has 2 more nights in the ER. I only have one more intern call. HOORAY for that. I am so tired of sitting up there at St. Vincent watching TV and pronouncing dead people. What a trashy way to live. I am bitter.

You know what, though? I am the luckiest, most blessed person in the world. My life makes me happy every day. Wow. And, really, I've never NOT felt that way.

Stork

No one ever told me I have a birthmark on the back of my head. Erica calls it a "storkbite" or something like that. They wait until I'm miles from home and my defenses are down (beer). And they spring it on me like it's no big deal at all. What if you had some totally unsuspected 26-yr-old lesion on your body?? Huh? I'm still not over it.

Conspiracy!  

Beach/McGehee

I've uploaded pics to my Yahoo! photos page (link to the right). The two folders are "Beach" and "McGehee." We didn't take very many beach pictures because we were too busy being lazy and swimming. In McGehee, we drove by the house where my mom grew up. It's 610 N. 2nd Street, and it was really fun to drive by and listen to her tell us stories. I'll never forget it.

Who knows

It has been a LONG time since I posted, as many of you have pointed out. Who knows why. Well, there was a week-long vacation in there. And now all of my routines are pretty shot. I just needed some time off. Okay, a lot of time.

So what's the update? Not a whole lot. The trip was perfect. Good weather until the last day. Did you know there is a Hard Rock Cafe in Destin? Wow, quite different from the sleepy "Shark Tournament" town of my childhood.

We've just been working since we got back. I'm still loving my May/June rotation with Dr. Beck, but I am definitely tired of all the calls. Erica has 13 ER 12-hr shifts in 14 days, so that explains her life. I ran 3 times last week and am on a new mission to make it a better routine in life. I'm aiming for 3/week and once on the weekend.

Softball continues, but we're short on players. We had to forfeit one game and then had just enough for the next. Any takers?

My mom's uncle is in the hospital, so I've gotten to see my mom, grandmother, and greata-aunt quit a bit lately. The latter two are twin sisters. He had a lung resection for Aspergillus, but apparently they found a malignancy (unexpected). I wish him the best. He always calls me "Frazzle" and is more worried about me than himself when I go see him.

Dad is in Seattle and Canada this week. I had a good Father's Day conversation with him this morning.

I got to spend a lot of time with Katy on Friday, which was soooo much fun. She is a hoot. And she loves the word "hoot." Thanks for being my sister and eating bread for my head! Oh, and for being my future office manager.

I can't wait to see the Arkansas Extreme Makeover. My aunt got to get yelled at by Ty (through the megaphone). I hope she makes the cut!

Radiology graduation dinner was last night. Four years seems like a lifetime. I wish I were at least a year into it. Someday I'll be finished! Wow.

After today, only two more intern calls. Maybe no one will die - that's the thought I have running through my head.

I had a dream this morning that I was taking an English literature essay test from a hard Sewanee professor. Every time I turned the page, it got more difficult and the references more obscure. Arggh, I hate panic dreams! I think I was dreading call.

I only have a few Floriday pics, but will post them when I get to the house tomorrow.

Edge

I know you are all on the edge of your seats, anxiously awaiting my trip to Destin. It will be fun for me - and a vicarious dose of fun for all of you. I am on call tonight, so I said goodbye to my dog for an 8-night separation. I gave her many words of wisdom and comfort to help sustain her for the duration. I'm sure it will help her - I'll probably need hospitalization.

Sorry for the lack of photos lately. I can assure you that many will be taken and posted within the next week. Erica and I went to Florida 3 years ago and haven't been on a week-long vacation since. There have been many weekend excursions, but this is a huge deal for us. I know I keep saying that.

Went to the state Medical Board meeting yesterday. It was a huge privilege to get to attend with Dr. Beck. It was very eye-opening. That is NOT a group of people with whom you would like to have a formal meeting. I was amazed at the volume of cases they covered, and I was amazed at some of the transgressions on the part of the physicians. Wow. I will definitely be dotting i's and crossing t's. It also made me remember why it is we all forge on in this profession - to take care of people. We are doctors first; when taking care of patients, every other classification and description is secondary.

Well, the yard is mowed, the bike rack is assembled and in place, the sheets are clean, baby-sitters planned. Just got to remember to get gas in the car. Check ya later.

Ix-ne

Nix the Busch. Erica said, "Do you hear yourself saying that"? She's right, that would be sacreligious to have a Republican-named dog!

Status quo

Why does it seem like I'm always on call? And why is that the best time in my life to blog? Who knows. But call is my status quo.

We lost that game to the worst team. Erica ended up playing with us which was totally fun. Dory was dugout dog. The final score was 11-10. I hit like an old washer woman (with apologies to Larry Ward).

We were off Friday but I can't remember what we did. Quiet night at home; dinner and a movie (Hotel Rwanda). I know we were really busy on Saturday, but I have the brain of af 65-yr-old in the early phases of memory loss right now. Oh yeah, lunch with Jack and Elaine (friends of my dad's) at Sesame. It was awesome! What a treat. Another quiet night at home. E was on call Sunday; I went to Sunday School and got stuff done around the house all day. Time with the Tullos family who are nursing a sick granddad. Dinner with Dad in Conway on his way back from the lake.

I have been contemplating the Chicago marathon on October 9th. Jack really wants me to run it with him. It is the weekend before Sewanee homecoming, and I'm not making ANY committments. It seemed like a great idea for a while, but the effect is fading. Either way, I have made running a more regular part of my life again, and it is enjoyable. I seem to always be in flux rather than on a set long-term schedule. My four-miler yesterday was great! Dory was pooped.

Now reading the Collected Stories of Flannery O'Connor. It brings back a lot of memories, because I read a lot of them in high school. But Dr. Beck is constantly quoting O'Connor, so it's part of my education to be conversant! I have been a reading machine lately and will sooooo miss that when radiology starts!!

List of people I talked to today:
Melissa Mann - doing well, heard from Dr. Croom who is also doing well
Erica Jensen - another friend dilemma, I told her he has insecurity issues and is either in love with her or totally gay
Beth Best - having a going-away party soon
Billynda Booth - wanted to switch call
Melissa Shannon - not looking forward to a month at the VA, played catch-up
Linda Tullos - Tom's dad is stable and should leave hospital soon
Hunter, Lauren Frances, and Lindsey Wood - came to visit me! Hunter gave me two handfuls of change to take into the chapel for "the old people and the kids who need money," quite a character move for him
Erica - worn out taking care of three kids - perfect as always!

The bike rack is bought, and I'm starting packing tomorrow. HOORAY!

Busch

The next series of dog names that I will have is baseball stadiums. I want a dog named Busch and a dog named Fenway. It used to be baseball players, but (alas) that only lasted 2 cats: Cal and Mattie.

This probably seems totally off the wall, but I have been up all night and had bad fitful nightmare sleep from 2-3 AM. So I just got up and have been thinking about dog names. Well, and cardiac intensive care, T waves, magnesium, lidocaine, and ventricular fibrillation for about 30 minutes in there. Mostly about dogs.

I ran into Drew Kumpuris and he had finished rounding at 5:30. He's headed to the airport to go fishing (lucky). He said, "Wow, you look like an intern who's been up all night." We chatted, then his brother came to pick him up. Drew said, "Doesn't she look lovely?" with no hint of irony.

Sigh. One more week until vacation.

And Katy - I tried to call you back but probably just woke you up accidentally instead. Then I text messaged you. I play left and left center. Gotta make those catches.

Guess what

Surprise, surprise, we got killed again. It was an 8:30 game, and it started raining in Maumelle around 7:30. Erica and I were home having a heated discussion, and then I realized maybe the game would be stormed out. At 8:00 it was really lightning outside (that's a verb, right?), but they called to tell me to head on out to Interstate Park. It poured.

We huddled in the dugout while it poured. We looked to the umpires in the tower while it poured. Lightning flashed while it poured. And then it seemed to the powers that be that it stabilized a little. We took the field without complaint. Yeah, right.

You should have seen me after a long first half-inning in that mess! My hair was plastered across my forehead, and I kept shaking it out like I was in some shampoo commercial. The scoreboard read about 12-0. Or maybe it was worse than that.

Anyway, I made good contact with the ball finally. Too bad my line drive was caught in left center. But I really didn't care because it seemed obvious to me that the slump is over. We got hammered for a while, but in predictable fashion evened out and put together some respectable innings. Tomorrow night is at 9:30, and that's the one that's actually the worst team. And now my cleats have a respectable layer of mud/dirt. Priceless.

I'm on call at St. Vincent today, and it has been good so far. I'm reading George Pelecanos' Drama City because I skipped it to read the newest Signed First. It is great so far; it's the crime novel I mentioned a while back. That's the best thing about call days here - lots of reading time.

The heated discussion ended well. E -- I love you.

A Separate Peace 

Ketchup

Well, several events have transpired, as they are wont to do.

On call last Friday, then got up Sat. morning and ran the Paws on the Pavement 5K down at Murray Park. This is a special race to me; it was the first race I ran 2 years ago. Back then, I had just started thinking about running and training for long distances. I ran it in 33:30, give or take. I remember getting that first T-shirt and thinking I was really going to become a runner. My parents came to the start of the race (I know...) and left early to go on a trip to Seattle (their last). So Saturday, it was hot but I ran a 29:30. That's great for me because it's under 10 min/mile. I'm thinking about working on my short distances (like the 5K) and improving there until it's time to train for the marathon again. CARE put on a good race, but they forgot about the portable facilities this year.

Then I stopped by my mom's house for some breakfast. Later worked on some things around the house, and dad came by to remove the lawnmower blade for sharpening. I love when he comes to the house to help do stuff. Then I saw Monster-in-Law with my mom; it was LOW quality. That made us laugh even more, so the time wasn't wasted after all. Erica was on call that day, so I ran some errands, quick nap, and then went to Jess and Meredith's house for a post-graduation party for Jess. It was a lot of fun, and it made me appreciate friends and get-togethers and deli trays and families.

We slept LATE Sunday for a much-needed rest. I've been re-reading A Separate Peace by John Knowles, which is one of my 10th-grade favorites. Mrs. B, of course. Even better this time around. Last night on our walk, Erica surprised me by running! We ran most of the way, and it was so awesome to have my whole little family out there running together. I am so proud of her. We had been to Hunter's baseball game and to a Body Shop selling party. It was a really good evening.

Softball game tonight. We still don't have a win, but this is supposedly the easiest team. I've got my fingers crossed.

Bama

Got the latest Signed Firsts book from Square Books yesterday - they're coming frequently due to scheduling signing dates. This one is gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson. Her debut novel. I read the first few pages yesterday and already love it. Keep in mind that I could be preparing (i.e. reading) for my forthcoming radiology residency and career. Nah... rather read the good stuff.

Just got the yard finished. Dr. Beck has a half-day on Thursday, so I came home and mowed. It looks good, but I've got to get the blades sharpened soon. Dory chased me in the back yard, which was hilarious. She is now crashed out on the office floor as I play with iTunes and blog.

On call AGAIN tomorrow. I've had a hard time getting them switched this month, which means I'll miss honors convocation for the graduating med students tomorrow night. I can't believe it's been a year. We were just babies. Intern year grows you up. Big time.

Just arrived 

Home Sweet Home 

Book

What a wake-up call. We Americans are killing ourselves with our obsession to have more. The more we have, the emptier we are. We have no time. I keep trying to put this one down, but it hasn't worked so far. I'll be up late tonight reading; call tomorrow will hopefully be slow.

FROM THE CRITICS
Library Journal
[De Graaf, producer of the PBS documentaries Affluenza (1996) and Escape from Affluenza (1998); David Wann, a former EPA staffer and expert on sustainable lifestyles; and Thomas H. Naylor, professor emeritus in economics at Duke, have assembled an updated and more in-depth look at the epidemic of overconsumption sweeping the United States and the rest of the world, based on de Graaf's documentaries. They define "affluenza" as "a painful, contagious, socially-transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety, and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more" and examine the spiraling cycle of overconsumption, spending, stress, and broken relationships caused by America's obsession with uncontrolled economic growth at any cost. This witty yet hard-hitting book provides evidence of the social problems caused by the American obsession with acquiring "stuff" and proposes solutions for living more sustainably. Highly recommended for academic and public libraries. Mark Bay, Indiana Univ.-Purdue Univ. Lib., Indianapolis Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.]

The Current Changing-my-Life Book 

Answered

This is where all your questions are answered. Well, at least the ones you've posted as comments....

My Square Books usually runs about $25. It depends on the book, and they just charge me the sticker price and no shipping. They're all hardbacks; some are $20, some $30. The nice thing is they come with that clear book jacket and are the best things to put on display. I love a house full of books.

I have 2 different Katys. I was referring to Katy Bartlett when I was talking about softball shorts and khakis. She thinks that's hilarious. Which I guess it is. SO... Katy Baker, that's why that probably sounded weird to you - you thought I meant you. And YES I was at my own party. Just don't have any pics to prove it.

All Smiles 

Eating it! 

Picking his nose! 

Mimi with Cherry Chocolate ice cream 

Jennifer and Jayson 

Ali B and the balloon I hunted down when it flew over the fence 

While

It's been a while. Some weeks just don't come together well. Now posted are pictures from Mother's Day cookout at our house. Click on "My photo albums" on the right, then find "Mom's 05." We had a great time with family and friends. And what an honor to get to have it at our house! I'll upload some individual pics, too.

That morning, we had brunch with Mom, Linda, and the girls. It was also a huge treat. Church was good as usual, and it was special to get to do the lunch for our moms.

I've had 2 softball games and 2 more hard losses this week. Last night I caught a ball on my arm - a high fly that somehow missed my glove. OUCH. Erica thinks it's broken, but it's not. I have tough bones. I cannot get on base to save my life. The batting cages are calling my name. SHAME! But the fielding is coming along, minus above-mentioned fly.

I got another Square Books Signed Firsts shipment this week. This one is "Drama City" by George Pelecanos. It came with a letter - "we don't usually send crime novels, but this one is really good..." Now I'm behind 2 books and want to catch up.

I'm about to go to an AIDS conference at lunch, then to the Cunningham's where we're babysitting overnight. On call again tomorrow, so I'll miss out on spending more time with the kids tomorrow. Dad is in Philadelphia. I talked to him this morning, and it sounds like he's having fun. Off to the shower.

Morning

I have had a typical Sunday NY Times morning. All the way across the bottom of my screen are open articles that I have enjoyed reading and want to forward along to people via e-mail. But I think I'll just post the links.

The first is proof of karma, "just desserts," what goes around comes around, yin-yang, feng shui, etc. I realize I am misusing these terms. Every culture has a term for it. The mayor of Spokane, WA, who has been historically anti-gay in his policy-making, was caught in an on-line affair with a 17-yr-old boy.

Next: I can't help it. I think Laura Bush is a joke. She is just so... She reminds me of tissue paper. That's about all I can say for her. Anyway, this editorial is about a press event/party that the White House threw for the Washington press-in-the-know crowd. I LOVE the word "sycophant" and specifically remember the day Mrs. Blackburn introduced it to our 10-grade English class. Priceless.

[Yes, Mrs. Bush was funny, but the mere sight of her "interrupting" her husband in an obviously scripted routine prompted a ballroom full of reporters to leap to their feet and erupt in a roar of sycophancy like partisan hacks at a political convention. The same throng's morning-after rave reviews acknowledged that the entire exercise was at some level P.R. but nonetheless bought into the artifice. We were seeing the real Laura Bush, we kept being told. Maybe. While some acknowledged that her script was written by a speechwriter (the genuinely gifted Landon Parvin), very few noted that the routine's most humanizing populist riff, Mrs. Bush's proclaimed affection for the hit TV show "Desperate Housewives," was fiction; her press secretary told The New York Times's Elisabeth Bumiller that the first lady had yet to watch it.]

Lastly, this one should come as no surprise. Guess what? The Catholic Church thinks YOU shouldn't be having sex. (Unless you're conceiving little Catholic soldiers for them.) Condoms to prevent AIDS? No way! Then the millions of Africans might have non-Catholic sex! That would be a tragedy...

[Fortunately, the Vatican's policies are routinely breached by those charged with carrying them out. In rural Guatemala, I've met Maryknoll sisters who counsel prostitutes to use condoms. In El Salvador, I talked to doctors in a Catholic clinic who explain to patients how condoms can protect against AIDS. In Zimbabwe, I visited a Catholic charity that gave out condoms - until the bishop found out.

"What would Jesus do?" said Didier Francisco Pelaez, a seminarian in São Paulo. "He would save lives. If condoms will save lives, then he would encourage their use."]

On that note, got to get ready for Sunday School.

Beware of dog who doesn't play well alone 

My Favorite 

Leftovers 

Almost finished! 

Snot

So I've finished my first week with Dr. Beck. He is a hematologist/oncologist in private practice. I make rounds with him and hang out in clinic. He is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I'll write more later, but this is a person with character. He is right out of the pages of a Sewanee yearbook. Well-read, well-spoken... you get the point.

Friday, Erica and I BOTH had a day off. It was great. I got home from call at 7AM, and we pretty much hit the ground running from there. Dory got a bath and nails trimmed at the vet's office, and we got to have lunch at Carrino's which is new in town. We mulched the flower beds and dug up a lot of azaleas that were crowding everything else out. There is no telling how much I have lifted in the past 24 hours: bags of mulch, plants, edger, weed-eater... now I'm mowing. I'll post some pics from the front yard. It was WORTH it. Looks great.

Went to Conway today to see my cousin Will's new apartment. My family was there painting and getting the place cleaned up. It's an old house on Locust split into 4 apartments. I think it's going to work out really well. Then I came home to finish in the yard.

Melissa and Shawn are on their way over. We miss Shawn so much! But he is having a blast in Dallas.

Oh yeah, snot: my nose is hating me and refuses to unclog. It is allergy central. Erin, I don't have your phone number! Call me or my mom and let me know the number to your pharmacy. Love you!

I'd rather be at Wrigley 

Getting to be Jeep season. Missing it? YES 

Restasis

I'm on call at St. Vincent's today; 7A-7A the next day. It's totally boring some days. But the doctor's lounge has a stocked ice cream freezer, and I get $10 per meal in the cafeteria. Major snack city. Today is pretty typical; only a few calls during the day, but you always get slammed around 10PM. I watched the Cards game this afternoon. E came to eat lunch. Read the paper. Took a nap. Hey, I warned you - boring!

Now "Maggie O'Connell" from Northern Exposure is trying to sell me prescription eye drops for chronic dry eyes. Gimme a break! John Stossell needs to hear about this one. First of all, QUIT SELLING PRESCRIPTION MEDS ON TV! It's killing me. Second of all, tell these people to go see their ophtho and use SALINE until then. Do not put cyclosporine in your eyes. Please. This advertising drugs has gotten out of control. Third of all, you're wasting some pretty awesome talent here. Janine Turner will always be O'Connell to me - what a show.

My car is in the shop. Less than 2,000 miles, and it's been there 3 times. Not that I can leave the confines of this hospital today, anyway. Hopefully they'll find the rattle (I think they left a screwdriver in there) and I can get it back tomorrow.

We saw The Interpreter last night. It's a solid flick. It's one of those that grabs you from the beginnning. I was TENSE and shoveling popcorn. I love going to the movies. I used to save all my movie ticket stubs and recently pasted hundreds of them (it seemed) into a book. In high school, that must have been a significant part of our entertainment. Isn't that funny - I remember playing ball and hanging out with everybody more than going to the movie. But we went all the time.

OK, I can't think of anything else that might even be mildly interesting to the world. Enjoy the weather and have a good week! And do something nice for your mom for next Sunday.

Ball

I'm on a softball team now. It's a city league, and we play Tues and Thurs nights. Tuesday was our first game, and I only know a couple of the girls (graduating med students). But it was of course a lot of fun. I am sore today, and we play again at 8:30 tonight if it's not raining.

Erica took me to Academy Sports to re-outfit me. I got batting gloves, shorts (can't wear khakis forever, Katy), and new cleats. I haven't worn cleats since high school. This is soooo exciting! I think I'll eventually need a new glove, but I'm holding off for now. I'm finally back in my sports element!

I've played on losing teams my whole life. We lost Tuesday. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I were on some awesome team, because that almost always means people start getting serious and competitive about it. Yuck. I'd rather just get out there and have a blast. We were good my senior year, and it was still fun. Maybe I'm overgeneralizing. Anyway, I have no problem sleeping at night after a loss.

Erica and I have a TON of calls coming up for the month of May. If you don't hear from me, don't despair. For several days, one of us is on every other night. It's never as bad as that sounds, though, because when you're busy you're glad to be busy and time flies. May will go so fast, then to THE BEACH in early June.

Whine

I'm learning not to whine. Again. In high school, I had a button on my backpack that said WHINING with a big red slash through it. I should have kept it around. I can't stand to hear people whine, and then I find myself doing it! "Too busy," "too tired," the list goes on forever. And I'm a very productive individual - it just goes to show you that little excuses can keep any of us from meeting our potential. We all need to be getting out and LIVING more. I love the Alanis Morissette song "Excuses":

Why no one will help me
I am too dumb I am too smart
They'll not understand me
I am lonely
They'll hate me
And there is not enough time
It's too hard to help me
And god wants me to work
No resting no lazy

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell

I'm too far from home
It takes far too much energy
And I cannot afford to
No one will ever see me

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked inside my cell

These excuses how they're so familiar
They've kept me small
They've kept me blocked
They've kept me safe inside my shell

Bringing this into the light
Shakes their foundation
And it clears my side
Now my imagination
Is the only thing that limits
The bar that is raised to the heights

No one can have it all see
I have to they want me to
And I can't let them down
I'll never be happy ----

This song made me realize a while back that we are constantly rationalizing our thoughts away and making excuses for our behaviors. It's also made me mindful of the risks I am sometimes too afraid to take. I only get one shot at life (at least this time around), and mediocrity is not something I strive for. Even my high school college entrance essay proclaimed: "Go places. Do things." All of this to say - enjoy the here and now, and do something with it. Hurry up!

The ride was so smooth, she fell asleep coming up out of the canyon. 

Shut your eyes and think of Sewanee 

The 20x10 3-room 4-door tent 

K.T.

Let me just say one more thing about the awesome geography of the Natural State. You have NOT lived until you've been through a town called Oppelo and laughed your head off saying that word over and over again. I have so many "world's best" memories from my oldest bestest friend and sister Katy Bartlett, and that is a top ten. Oppelo rocks!!

Upload

Pics are posted on my Yahoo! Photos - permanent link is on the right, if you're ever looking. We had a great time at Petit Jean, but it was FREEZING cold on Friday night. Dory had a blast and taught me that she's totally fine with being off the leash while hiking. They grow up so fast.... Church and potluck yesterday. My mom cooked dinner for us and her friends. It was a great meal and wonderful time. I'll have to remember that menu for an entertaining occasion. Thanks, Mom!!

Red letter

Okay, today is such a red-letter day. Of course, it's FRIDAY. That's a big deal. And Erica and I are taking our dog on her first camping trip. Another big deal! And we're all packed up, the consult list is down, the weather is gorgeous, and I ate an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. I might just cease to exist this weekend - I've reached some kind of pinnacle in life! Just kidding.

Thursday is the best night to do nothing. With the Apprentice and ER, you just can't lose. I think we'll actually see a GIRL win the Apprentice this time around. Finally, they have some decent ones. It's time to share with you my all-time "If I wrote an ER episode" fantasy. Two words: Abby and Susan.

Here's hoping for a clear night, blazing fire, and no strong winds. Will post pictures after return...

My mistake

It's 1.1 billion people, according to MSN - not 6 billion. Had to set the record straight.

Papa

I don't have some vendetta against the Catholic Church, although perhaps I could. [That institution is largely to blame for alienating me from a family I used to know.] Point being, I can't blame all of those 6 billion people. Some of them are extremely intelligent - a couple are among my favorite people. So that's my disclaimer for what's next.

From Maureen Dowd's column today:
"The white smoke yesterday signaled that the Vatican thinks what it needs to bring it into modernity is the oldest pope since the 18th century: Joseph Ratzinger, a 78-year-old hidebound archconservative who ran the office that used to be called the Inquisition and who once belonged to Hitler Youth. For American Catholics - especially women and Democratic pro-choice Catholic pols - the cafeteria is officially closed. After all, Cardinal Ratzinger, nicknamed "God's Rottweiler" and "the Enforcer," helped deny Communion rights to John Kerry and other Catholic politicians in the 2004 election."

Sounds like a real winner! I feel sorry for any little girl who grows up as a second-class citizen in her own church. Think about that. I'm just going to stop now before I get ugly. This could go on all day.

Catch-up

It's a weird feeling to look forward to Monday, but I was on call this weekend. It was miserable. The pager started Friday afternoon (during a nap, I think). Most of the things were just phone calls, but I rounded both mornings. On Sunday, there were 5 new consults at the med center - that's pretty unheard-of for a weekend day. So that was pretty overwhelming. Luckily, I got there early and had 2 of them done before rounds. My pager needs a new battery today.

Got to hang out with Landon Friday evening, which was fun. Yardwork and clean cars on Saturday, then Dory had a play-date with Julie the German Shepherd. Sat night was a get-together at some friends' house, but it turned sour and we're still trying to figure out just what happened. Communication is an on-going effort.

I haven't mentioned my new car yet, but I am loving it. It's a gray Mazda 3 4-door. It is such a sporty little ride. I'm not even missing my Jeep, really (someone take my temperature).

We're going camping on Friday!!! I can't wait. It's been since October '03 when we went to DeGray that I've spent the night outside. Isn't that awful? I talked to Jessica this morning, and it sounds like we'll be going to Petit Jean. She and Meredith know a tent site there that I hope we can get. Luckily, they aren't too busy with the moving process to go on a camping trip. It's soooo nice to all have a day off at the same time.

A few people have asked us lately if we're planning on living in LR forever. The answer is never the same. I think it would be a good experience to live somewhere else for a while. Perhaps around the time of our fellowships, we'll do that. But it does seem attractive to move back. Our church, friends, family, etc. make it really hard to consider leaving forever. The other issue is when to have a baby... and that's just so hard to plan at this point. I think in some ways we're ready, but in others... we have a lot to think about. It's not something you want to do when you're at the busiest point in your life as far as training. Once I get into my "real" residency, I'll have a better idea.

And I've decided that I'm not going to worry about if our world is ready for me to have a kid. (Will she get made fun of at school? What will his friends' parents think? etc) Life is short. My being gay is not going to change or "get better." I have to be the source of change, and waiting around for some abstract idea of acceptance is just waiting. So when the time is right for Erica and me, the time will be right. I hope I'm not offending anyone, but there you have it. Glad I got that off my chest.

Quick

Just a quick post before rounds... It's been a good week. This month is going so quickly.

Last night Kate came over for a dinner of hamburgers (not my best), sweet potatoes (E's new creation), and salad. Oh, and beer and ice cream. It was a lot of fun to see her and just hang out. When you spend so much time running with someone, you end up knowing everything about one another. I've missed that communication since the marathon. I do admire Kate and her personality - she has a ton of insight and is always forthcoming. Anyway, that's my little plug for the best running buddy ever.

Speaking of running, I have been so lazy this week. The sedentary life is not for me. It just makes me feel bad all over. Whenever this happens, I spend days trying to figure out why I did it again! So I'm on a detox diet (c.f. Supersize Me) and taking the stairs all up and down the VA. I'll be back in no time.

I'm on call this weekend, so I can't make many plans. Hopefully I'll get to spend some time playing.

Small World

I'm glad to see that the blog I mentioned circled back around to Little Rock. I haven't worked with Andy yet, but that's in my near future.

For my "upset" article of the day, I have learned that Title 9 is in some danger. From the NY Times:

"The Bush administration has mounted a surreptitious new attack on Title IX, the 33-year-old law that has exponentially expanded the participation of girls and women in sports.

Last month, a memo went up on an Education Department Web site that was billed as a "clarification" of Title IX regulations. But the memo amounted to a major weakening of the criteria used to determine compliance with the rule that all schools receiving public funds provide equal sports opportunities for men and women. Under the new guidelines, on campuses where the proportion of female athletes falls notably below the proportion of women in the student body, and sports programs for women are not expanding, a college will still be able to show it is "fully and effectively" obeying the law by doing an online survey that shows women have no unmet sports interests. The department says that if the rate of response is low - as it is with most such surveys - that will be interpreted as a lack of interest."

There's more where that came from, of course. For full text, click here. You'll need a password for some of their articles. It's free and something you need to do, anyway!

Site

I just found the coolest site! It's another blog, and it's called "So What Can I Do?" Lots of good links about how to fix all the things that aren't going so well in the world. From recycling to AIDS awareness to political turmoil. Looks like it's all there - I'm planning on learning more about it.

Rain

It's a nasty day in central Arkansas. Dory woke up whining at about 5:15, so I'll be tired tonight when it's bedtime! She was upset about the storm. We had a lot of lightning, and big-time rain.

What can I tell you about the weekend... not much on Friday. We had planned on going to the Traveler's game, but it didn't work out. Stayed at home. Saturday was errand day. Oh, and of course "weekend coffee day" at our house. On the weekends, we pull out the real coffeemaker rather than the one-cup. What an exciting life.

We also went to Hunter's soccer game. It's always good to see the kiddos! I mowed the front and back yard and filled in some holes (some from Dory, some from chronic erosion stuff). I always feel good after cleaning up the yard. Then, I went to dinner at Bryce and Sunshine's house. They cooked out steaks, and once again I found myself surrounded by surgeons (except for Alex). Molly came bearing multiple bottles of wine - it's a long story. The short version is that it's really hard to keep track of how much you've had in a situation such as this. Virtually impossible. A good time was had by all. Unfortunately, I didn't get any of the ice cream I had made. Hmm. Guess I get to make it again soon.

Saturday night made me realize how important it is to keep up with friends. I have missed out on a LOT in the past few months.

Sunday brunch with Dad, Sara, Mimi, and a friend of Sara's at the Clinton library. It was pretty good food - and I can always feed a hangover. Helped Brooke move some stuff out of storage. I hope the W&D still work.

I had a great conversation with Erica Jensen, I mean "Travis Nolan," last night. She changed her phone number and I didn't know about it. Some guy in Atlanta got a lot of calls from me Saturday night. It's a blizzard in Denver. She survived an interesting bar experience the other night. I wish I could have been there for her first lesbian club! [At least I think it was her first.] We're all getting excited for Sewanee Homecoming 2005.

I am so proud of Erica. She has had a really hard time in the past few months with her residency. Things are getting better, but she has faced a lot of things head-on and with confidence and maturity. This has garnered her quite a bit of respect, but it hasn't been easy.

Yesterday, Erica said, "There's no picture of me on your blog!!" I figured I could come up with a remedy... 

Eats

This is what I wrote last night, but it wouldn't let me post:

The link to my photo albums should be up and working now. I've updated everything - feel free to take a peek.

Sometimes I feel like life revolves around eating. Maybe it does. Anyway, last night we went to dinner with Jennifer Keller - it had been way too long. She is doing well, much improved, falling in love?, etc. I was so glad to see her. She is like a rock as far as friends go. Always there to check on you. Bryce and Sunshine Murray also came. I swear, hanging out with all these surgeons wears me out. Just the thought of spending that many hours in the hospital. Yikes. A good time was had by all. The Living Room is awesome.

Work was more enjoyable today because the fellow wasn't there - I had more time to "run the team" and give my ideas about the patients. Also connected with my attending, Dr. Martin. Her daughter was in Mom's class at the Anthony. And she and Brent Polk go way back, so it was fun to hear her talk about that.

I had a patient tell me today, "Kill me. Kill me." He was mouthing the words because he has a tracheostomy (breathing tube via his neck; think papal). I didn't know what to do. At first I acted like I couldn't understand him - because I wasn't sure that's what he meant at all. He was pointing at something. I think he was telling me to tell his doctors (we're only the consultants) that he wants to die. He was saying, "Die. Die. Die."

Sometimes you think you have a hold on medical ethics and your opinions. Everyone has their time, etc. I approach a lot of these things philosophically, and it seems like I'm always thinking about them. But then, you're totally put on the spot and staring into the eyes of some patient you barely even know - and he's BEGGING you to let him go. I wish I were his main doc. I would sit and spend more time with him and figure out what his wishes are. But when you're in the surgical ICU and the surgery residents are waiting right there, telling you that they'll "get it from here," you're stuck. Some days you come home exhausted for no "physical" reason - today was one of those days. This wore me out. All I could do was try to comfort him and let him know that we were going to try to help him get better. He'll be the first person I see tomorrow.

Appropriately, the lecture at a banquet I went to tonight was on medical ethics, professionalism, etc. The speaker is a well-renowned ethicist and educator. I enjoyed her talk, but my thoughts were with this patient instead. All I can do is voice my opinion in this man's care. The rest is up to someone else. I hope they are compassionate.

Shower song

Okay, obviously it's not very busy on ID consults today. I am wasting time, surfing along, and come upon music playlists at MSN music. Now, there is no way that the playlist "Singin' in the Shower" is not going to appeal to me. I LOVE to sing in the shower. In fact, I take that several steps farther: I love to sing loud cheesy music whenever, wherever. I have lost my voice on long car trips because of this. I have been stone-cold sober and gotten yelled at in dorms for screaming Celine Dion songs at the top of my lungs (don't laugh, Erica Brooke - you were there, too). And karaoke at the Murfreesboro Holiday Inn was among my top 10 college memories!

I'm an iTunes girl, so I hope I'm not betraying that loyalty by passing this along. I plan on buying some of these from the Apple folks!

Hmm, that's funny. Wait a second... I already own most of these!!

Column

There is a piece in the NY Times today that you should read. Click on the link here to pull up today's Nicholas Kristof column.

Susan Holmes in Chattanooga is working with Episcopal Relief and Development on the crisis in Sudan. I will be e-mailing her to get resources on how to help. She is my former crew coach's wife.

Cheers!

Pretty good day at work. Home, snack, nap. The usual day, really. But we ate dinner tonight at Cheers with Dad and Sara. It was a lot of fun. They had a great trip to Spain and are still getting over jet lag. They played like crazy with Dory before and after. I really love hanging out with my dad. It's good to be able to say that as an adult! He has taught me that life is short, and the last thing on earth I should concern myself with is what other people think of me. I have lots of good things to say about him, as most of you know.

I had homework tonight: an article about MRSA. If you don't know what that stands for, you're really a lucky person. It's a bad bacterium that is changing the face of infectious disease. Not good at all.

Brooke's blog is up and running.

The lightning is picking up outside. I think I'll cut short for now. Tomorrow is cleaning day - hooray! And my goal is to get some computer photo stuff finished up, as well as some iTunes play-time.

Am I finally figuring out how to do this??? This is (of course) Dory. 

This is Sydney enjoying some dessert at our house.  

NCAA

I don't watch a lot of sports, but I LOVE the Final Four games every year. Since I don't follow through the season, I just pick a favorite at the last minute. Sometimes it's because of their jersey color, or coach's name, or favorite player, or a team's status as underdog. Tonight, of course, I was hoping for an Illinois win (they were down 9 or 10 when I turned it on). Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I'll pick somebody tomorrow night for the women's side. My favorite sports phrase of all time is, "I hate the Vols." But I like watching Pat Summit; women's b-ball is the total exception to my favorite phrase. Too bad they didn't make it this year.

If you're in Arkansas, you'll want to know about house bill 1883. It's a bill that would ban smoking in restaurants that earn >30% of their revenues from food (not alcohol). I e-mailed my legislator and was totally impressed to get a response from him. He is planning on voting FOR it. You can go here and click on "Legislators" to find an e-mail address. Let them know you're fed up with it!!! Thanks to Susanna Shermer for passing that along.

I've noticed yellow pollen on the cars for the first time today. Time again for daylight savings, lawnmowers, Flonase, and golf clubs!

Back to the grind

I always think of Sunday night as "back to the grind." It's like recharging, getting ready for the new week. I like that. The weekend was good. Had a good time on the houseboat, although it was chilly at times. We actually rode jet skis on Saturday. I rolled up my scrub pants, took off my shoes, and we took off! It was fun to be back on the water. The only thing I won't miss is the 4-foot ceiling in the "bedroom." The lake was gorgeous.

I went to a wedding shower last night for Matt Duncan. He is getting married in June. It was fun to see his family and a few of the old pals (and their parents). I never thought I would be old enough to say the words, "I haven't seen you in [gasp] ten years!" Apparently, I am exactly old enough to be saying that. I am happy for Duncan.

Church was fun today - we loved seeing the Joheims and Sydney! We ate lunch in a group at Community Bakery, then did a little shopping. OH, I forgot the most important part of the day - before church, Erica and I cleaned out our closets. Again. This is an ongoing thing, but today was a big purge. Naturally, the next thing to do is go shopping to replace all those clothes! We restrained pretty well.

It is almost too much to go to Old Navy on a Sunday, because there are dogs up for adoption outside of Petco. Sigh.... Dory would kill us if we came home with a puppy. And we've decided we love her too much. How can you improve on perfection?