Slip

Well, it's been a while again since I've posted. Time just slips away, it seems. Lots has happened. It's been a really "up" season, and sometimes I worry about the eventual down.

I passed my boards. It was a big deal. I got the letter on the Friday after I got back from Louisville. Pure elation is fairly representative of my thoughts that day. The only bad part was that I had some colleagues who didn't pass. After all the studying and planning together, that's a bit of a downer. Erica and I celebrated my finishing with dinner at Copeland's. We had never been. I even ate a steak! That's kind of a big deal for me.

I went back to work the following week, and it was fun to sit in the reading room and just WORK. No stress to worry about. Even the ringing phone didn't bother me. I gave morning conferences, dictated studies, and went about my business. We had a fun residents' day on the golf course that Friday, followed by a big party at our house for all the residents. I'm so glad we did that - people brought their kids, we catered from Reno's, and the weather held off. Lots of fun. I graduated that Saturday night. Graduation was a really nice event and dinner. I was proud to have my family there (minus Ross, who stayed with Erica's parents).

Then we left for St. Louis. What a good little trip. We drove up on Sunday and discovered why these little GPS deals are so popular! We're a couple of years late on that one. Our hotel was right across from Busch stadium - Hilton at the Ballpark. That was a great decision, and we kind of lucked into it via kayak.com. We had fun in spite of a lot of rain. Highlights: me climbing in all the tunnels with Ross at City Museum, driving and walking around the park (lots of good pictures walking around the fountain), a quick afternoon trip to the zoo, a long morning at the Magic House (favorite area = construction), lunch at Fitz's root beer, and of course the Tuesday night Cards game. We got there early and settled into our FRONT ROW seats down the 1st base line. It was hot, but the sun went down below the top of the stadium before long. Ross made friends with the little guy who shags fouls. Ross got to wear his helmet between 1/2 innings. The cards dominated. We had the complete experience and probably won't repeat such a good time. We stayed late, too, and Ross got to walk onto the field with his friend. AND he got us a foul ball, AND the girls gave him a souvenir T-shirt.

The next day, we went to the zoo for a more complete visit before leaving town. We spent a lot of time there. Erica rode on a little scooter to prevent too many contractions. It was super hot, but we managed. It was kind of like being in Orlando in July, but not quite as fun. We pretty much saw all the animals. Ross and I rode the train at the end of the day, and then it was back to Little Rock.

After the trip, back to work. I started my fellowship this past Tuesday at Children's. It has so far been exactly as I expected. It is so rewarding to FINALLY be doing what I've always wanted to do. What a blessing. And now, everyone refers to me as "our fellow." I'm in this primo moment in my career. And I feel so welcomed.

Erica, on the other hand, has had a rough couple of weeks at work. Just busier than usual. She's been dealing with contractions for several weeks now, but we are now less worried about them; our doctor has calmed some fears and said they are mild. We are almost 29 weeks, and the goal is to make it to 35 (when Ross was born). E's BP is holding stable and we're just clicking along now.

For the fourth, we went to the Travs game and watched fireworks from there afterward. It has been a fairly low-key weekend. We went swimming Friday, ate barbecue yesterday, and are headed to our friend Keller's tonight for dinner. Just enjoying our last few weeks of being three.

24

Well, I'm 24 hours away from being free of the American Board of Radiology for the next ten years (that's when I'll recertify).

I spent a lot of time debating whether or not to blog about my trip to Louisville, but I decided to record what I can remember of my trip. All radiologists hate this place. Few have any memories of their boards. When my granddad died, my dad took pictures. It seemed weird at the time (standing around a funeral home room, shaking hands with people, listening to muzak, when FLASH goes the bulb). But now I can see that my dad is probably glad he has memories of that event. Even when it's not pleasant, it's important.

Background: those of you who have had to live around me for the last four years know that it all comes down to this. All those 7 AM conferences, taking cases in front of peers, sounding like an idiot in the beginning, getting chastised for missing subtleties on the images, sweating through countless scrub shirts, etc. The only reason we have case conferences is to simulate the oral board experience. All those books and websites. All those call nights, consultations, cafeteria meals. All those quizzes, PowerPoints, duty hours, schedule requests, rotations, attendings. Everything a resident does for four years means not-a-lot if tomorrow doesn't go well. There's a lot on the line, which makes the event enormous regardless of the preparation, reassurance, and previous pass rates. The culture of radiology residency is so closely intertwined with this exam. It's what gowns and gates are to Sewanee. It's what hot dogs are to baseball, ears to Mickey Mouse. So when I sit in those 10 consecutive hotel rooms with 10 examiners tomorrow, it'll be a big deal. Even though I know I'll pass.

There's not a lot in Louisville. I got here on Sunday uneventfully. Airplanes (NWA), rental car (Enterprise Hyundai), hotel (Hampton Inn). I was shocked to see how close the Executive West Inn is to the airport. [It was bought by the Crowne Plaza within the last year, but I can't bear to think of it under that name; boards are ALWAYS at Ex West.] When I got in my little car and exited up out of the airport lot, this monument of a hotel was the first thing I saw, dominating my little horizon like some huge stadium. It's kind of intimidating! My hotel is right next door. By the way, I LOVE getting into a hotel room. I immediately unpack everything and put things in their places. It's like a clean slate moment for me, and everything fits so neat and tidily. Suit hanging up, little soap bar unwrapped, computer plugged in. I love it.

I went to a Quizno's for lunch, drove around downtown for a while, and found a local weekly paper so that I could pick a good place for dinner. I saw the U of L (there was a regional playoffs baseball game going on at Papa John Stadium), the Children's Hospital, and the Louisville Slugger museum. I was back in my room for a while, but headed out to Boombozz Taphouse for dinner. It was a good choice; lots of draught beers, good pizza, good atmosphere. Watched some TV and actually got quite a bit of sleep. Today was a little harder to fill with activities. I kept seeing examinees coming and going from the hotel next door and wishing for my own completion and closure. I went to a bookstore and a mall to spend some time. I've been in my room for a lot of the afternoon playing on the computer, learning about RSS feeds, catching up on blogs, and trying not to think about the test.

What I'll remember about this semester is the time I've spent with my group of residents, the nerves, and the support I've gotten at home. I'll NEVER think about boards without giving a silent little shout out to Erica, who helped keep me sane and allowed all those study nights. She took on proportionally more laundry, meal prep, trash take-out, discipline, phone call, errand, and planning duty. Willingly. Without debate.

What I'll remember about my residency is that thousands of patients were involved in getting me here. They all helped. A CT scan has about 400-500 images on average, if you include the reconstructions, scouts, etc. MRI has more. US has hundreds as well. If you look at 50 or 60 studies a day, plus conference, plus call and after-hours, plus what we read in books, we are exposed to thousands of images EACH DAY. Imagine what how many images I've seen in four years. It takes real people - with real diseases that hurt and make those patients throw up and bleed and drain and suffer - to make those images. I don't forget that. I will never forget that while my specialty at times makes me a little more removed from the IV poles and hospital beds and call buttons, I am indebted to real people.

So I'll finish tomorrow around noon, head to the airport, and get home tomorrow night. I'll spend much-needed time with my family and open a little letter on Friday or Saturday. Phew.

Still

I'm still studying, but I'm in the taper.  It's just like training for a marathon, but without toenail injuries.  You don't work too hard at the end.  Especially in the last two weeks.  One week from right now, I'll be in Louisville.  

We've had a pretty good holiday weekend, even though it hasn't seemed too celebratory for me. That's one thing I've noticed about residency and young doctorhood: holidays aren't much.  We have this conversation when we're looking at schedules and planning trips.  Sometimes you have time off, sometimes you don't.

Ball game Friday night.  Ross got to run around the bases at the end.  I was way more excited than he was, and that's saying something.  I don't think I've ever gotten to do that; since I have a less-than-5-year-old, I got to participate. Have I ever told you the story about how I DIDN'T get to be a Travs batgirl when I was a kid. I'll spare you the pain. Let's just say it was tragic. And unconstitutional.

So we ran around yesterday, accomplished some errand stuff, spent time with my mom, and ended up going to Whole Hog for dinner followed by a movie (Earth).  We were planning on Monsters/Aliens, but you know how plans are.  Apparently my widget for movie times isn't so correct.  So we got there an hour early and went to eat barbeque instead.  We were the only people in the movie theater, which turns out to be perfect when you have a two-year-old watching a nature documentary featuring the bland, serious voice of James Earl Jones.  He was all over the place, and we let him.  Lesson: don't plan.

Today has been pretty rainy and dull, i.e. not much to post about.  We made it to church (there was plenty of room there), and then I studied.  One of those weekends where we keep thinking we'll plan something to do and do it.  Like I said, plans are overrated.  

Hopefully the game and fireworks won't get rained out; so far, so good.

Trickle

The days are just dragging.  My test is two weeks from yesterday, and I can't seem to get there.  I think I'm finished studying.  I just want to get there.  Everything is on hold.  Erica misses me.  I miss me.  I forget more things than I remember.  I am whiny.  Etc, etc.

I got to have lunch with Katy today, and that cheered me up a lot.  It's good to have an oldest bestest friend.  Some things never change. 

My applications are now complete to Toronto and Boston for the year-after-next fellowship possibility.  If I'm a good blogger, I'll keep you posted on how the academic year 2010-2011 progresses.

Our house isn't selling.  People are barely even looking.

We had a busy weekend.  Ross had three birthday parties, which means we have officially entered that stage in life.  He now has Tuesday and Thursday night swimming lessons, which he is ROCKING.  They want to promote him.  Ha.  Not surprised.  He had a hateful whiny horrible morning today.  I asked him, "What did you do with my kid and why can't you bring him back to me?"  Unfortunately, everyone at Panera saw his ferocity and thought, "That's her kid.  Why does she bring him out?"  They don't know that that's not really my kid.  My Ross is perfect and sweet and fun and appreciative.  Yikes.

Erica is back at work this week (she has these unpredictable but welcomed weeks off), so that has brought a little more routine to our lives.  She still holds things together around here, and weathers our toddler's storms with one hand tied behind her back.

Meanwhile, I'm sticking to the things that always work:  morning walks, my dog, beer, wasting time online, a clean car, new books, and Erica.  Always Erica.

Don't squeeze

Moms

Mother's Day was fun around here, obviously double the usual celebration.  We had special bagels at Ross' school at drop-off time on Friday, and he made little gifts for us.  They were in a sack to open on Sunday, but he was so proud he yelled, "Handprint!" when I picked him up that afternoon.  

He spent the night with my mom.  They went to Fayetteville to stay with Nae-Nae (my mom's sister), who was in charge of her two grandsons.  I'm sure it was non-stop fun.  Ross was exhausted Saturday when he got home.  It allowed us a dinner at Brave New, which is by far our favorite Little Rock restaurant.  We hadn't been in a LONG time.

I had mock boards on Saturday, which was really good for showing me how long that "real" day will feel.  It went well, and it put a lot of things in perspective.  I know this stuff.  I've been studying like crazy.  A few areas to work on in the next three weeks, but otherwise a confidence booster.  I got home around 2:30 and opened a beer.  Nice.

Erica had a lot of family in town for Mother's Day.  Her grandmother is moving to Florida, and the exchange between caretaker-uncles happened in Little Rock.  It is a difficult transition for everyone because the grandkids feel like she is moving too far away.  So kind of a bittersweet day.  Nonie is in her eighties and largely unaware of the goings-on.  Everyone took more pictures than usual.

Sunday was church and brunch back at Erica's parents' house.  Big day.  We napped and then had dinner with my dad and grandmother (who is also increasingly unaware).  Ross loves big family weekends and seeing the cousins.

With all the rain, we spent last evening cleaning out the drain in front of our garage so that it doesn't flood.  There was mud everywhere.  Ross played with worms.  I shoveled mud.  Erica Shop-Vac'ed the standing water.  And then we dug out the drain itself.  Not glamorous work, but it seemed to hold last night during the rain.  As I was walking them out to the car this morning, Erica and Ross saw a big turtle in our drive!  He was thrilled.  My camera was upstairs, which now I'm totally regretting.

Above: we're learning about underwear.  We have a lot to learn.

Ruminations

Sitting in the library and obviously not studying. The pictures of the small bowel follow-through are on the screen, but my mind wanders.

I am two people or three, or thirty, or a million.

I used to be someone who walked in the woods, listened to all kinds of music, traveled with a backpack, and lazed. Now I work, and parent, and study, and survive. It is like two different people, seemingly unaligned.

This is not a dismal post. I'm just realizing that THIS is what the 30's (and probably middle age) are all about. We have to figure out who we are. This sounds easy, and I did it years ago. Which was all well and good, but then I changed. I still like to do the things I used to have time for, but I have to find ways to fit them in. This is why people our age are busy. Not because we have kids, but because we have kids and jobs and partners in addition to all the things we used to have. It's not a trade-off, but a squeeze. Case in point: my game room closet, where you will find life jackets, camping equipment, and golf clubs. Relative antiquities these days, but worth keeping and fighting for.

So now I know who I am, but I have to keep on top of that. I still know what I want to do and be, but I have to know that these things change, too.

One day last summer (the summer of my confusion and discontent), I was brushing my teeth in the 1/2 bath. I looked in the mirror and realized that I am exactly who I always wanted to be. I think that moment was precious - not because it was then that I realized it, but because it was then that I really became it. A combination of lots of Leahs.

This person has great hair. She works and loves and plays hard. She is not too old, not too young. She is educated but has billions of things to learn. She has time to do the things she loves, but she has to work for this time.

Which makes simple pleasures more enjoyable after all.

Back

It's good to be home.  I have settled back in.  The only problem is that the imminence of boards is pressing and squeezing and contracting.  It really does feel like that.  Four weeks from today, I'll be finished.  I got home late Friday night, and then had board reviews on Saturday and Sunday.  It was like, "Welcome home, get away from your family and come to WORK."  On Monday, I had four board reviews.  Wow.  The thing is: reviews are awesome.  An "examiner," usually one of my attendings or former residents, stands in front of us and shows us cases.  We go around the room and act like we are taking our oral boards.  An image is shown, we describe it, talk about the findings, our differential diagnosis, and state what we would do next (more imaging, refer to a surgeon, biopsy, tell 'em to suck it up, etc.).  It's an incredible amount of stress and intimidation, but in that regard it simulates the real oral board exam.  It's an invaluable experience, but an hour of that stuff wears me out.  My neck tenses up and I always get a headache.

So now you know why my life feels like it is on hold.  And now that I've complained for an entire paragraph, I'm probably done.  Please don't leave my blog now that I've returned!

I looked back at some of the more recent blog posts and realized that a lot has changed.  Mae is at her new home, as I stated.  The awesome nanny?  Well, she was a con artist liar.  It's a long story that many of you have heard, but life has been so much better since we moved on.  It didn't take us long to figure her out; the stories never made it back around to truth.  Our boy is safe, we are relatively unscathed, and all is well.  Ross is now at a new school downtown near Children's.  We LOVE his new school.  We faced the fact that he was totally ready for school, anyway.  It gives us all a routine to have him there, and the new baby is on the list for January, when Erica is projected to return to work.  Oh yeah, that's news!  20 weeks today.  We had our big ultrasound yesterday and kept our heads turned when there might have been a crotch shot, much to the dismay of the grandparents, who would love to know which color to buy.  We are keeping it a surprise.

Erica's job continues to go well.  It is low stress.  She has weeks on service and weeks off.  No nights or weekends!  In retrospect, I don't think we ever thought there would be a time in our lives that we wouldn't both have nights and/or weekends.  Or that there would be scheduled days off!  It is such a blessing to have her in a good practice.  She loves ACH and spends some time at UAMS, too, where she attends deliveries and follow-up care.  My job isn't structured right now; I just study.

My fellowship in pediatric radiology starts this summer and will continue for a year.  I'm already planning for an additional year in interventional radiology for the following year (2010-1011).  I know, it's crazy.  More training.  I total of 7 years after graduating from med school.  Oh well, it's what I love.  I want to end up at ACH; I want to teach; I want to be involved in every way that I can in imaging for kids. The interventional year would likely be done "away;" I'm applying to Toronto, Boston, and maybe a couple others.  We'll see.  If I don't get one of those, then I'll apprentice here in town in a less official fellowship and stay on as staff here.

Ross is an energetic, smart, loving two-year-old.  He has learned to fake cry when he has to go to time out, but seeing him come tell us he's sorry makes us melt.  He wants to do things by himself.  He wears Pull-Ups, but there hasn't been a tremendous amount of progress in that department.  He gets Band-Aids.  He looks so natural in jeans and a little Polo shirt.  He takes good naps.  He gets in our bed between 12 and 4 every morning!  He is a book fanatic.  He speaks SO WELL for his age and puts together great sentences, complete with adverbs.  He points out the giraffes and hippos on the way to school in the car every morning.  He says the blessing by himself.  He adores his cousins.  He knows how to scream.  He remains a great eater.  He gets excited when we talk about "tiny love" coming and wears his big brother shirt with pride!

I've spent the morning attacking the stack of mail and catching up on bills.  Strangely, doing those things is a really calming experience for me.  I sit in front of my new computer, blast the indigo girls, and accomplish stuff.  The piles get smaller, the boxes get checked, and it turns into "me" time.  

Check my facebook for pictures from Boston.

Only

Well, if taking a trip is the only motivation for me to blog, then so be it.  I can promise to do better, but we know what that really means.  

Duke: In preparation for my boards (June 2 at 7 a.m. in Louisville, Kentucky), I went with the other members of my residency class to a board review course in N.C.  It was an all-day (11 hr) gig for 7 straight days.  Pretty hard core.  It was good.  I learned a lot and became more comfortable with a lot of the material.  Enjoyed hanging out with my group, too.  We went to some restaurants, ate a little and drank a lot.  I also got to spend time with an old high school buddy, Samantha, who is an attorney in Raleigh now.  That was really fun and much-needed; we have spent about 5 minutes together in the last 9 years.

Boston: I flew straight from Raleigh/Durham to Boston last Friday.  I rented an apartment for the week, which was a combined family vacation and radiology meeting.  I ran my bags to the apartment on the T, which was insane on the green line in preparation for a Red Sox/Yankees game, but I made it back to the airport just in time to greet Erica and my boy.  We were all pretty much ecstatic to see each other.  No, really.  7 days was way too long.  So after all that studying, the vacation was going to be awesome no matter what.  

Friday: walked to eat burritos, grabbed some staples, crashed out.

Saturday: lots of walking, Copley Square (where the marathon finish barricades were still up), public gardens, swan boats, ducklings, playground at boston commons, lunch with Ralph and Katy (living here for fellowship), nap!, best Red Sox game ever.  Thanks to stubhub.com for charging me a kabillion dollars for average seats.  It was the best time I've ever had at a sporting event, bar none.

Sunday: New England Aquarium, Quincy, walk to Fan Pier (where there is a big regatta event), walk aimlessly in attempt to find the Tea Party Ship (which, it turns out, is nonexistent now; renovations underway), calm down screaming child who wanted to see the TPS so badly, return to apartment via T, Upper Crust pizza for dinner.

Monday: Prudential Tower skywalk, walk through commons and along Freedom Trail to Quincy (where Ross spilled his pasta all over the floor), Children's Museum (where I climbed to the top of the maze with my 2-yr-old), nap, Cheesecake Factory (where our waitress' name was Meg; "She is my new friend").

Tuesday: Leah to her course for the morning, Erica and Ross to public library and return to public garden, reunite, lunch on Charles Street, walk all the way to Old Ironsides (another request from the boy, who is well-read about Boston and wanted to see each of the sites in his favorite book), cab home, cook dinner.

Wednesday: exit day for E and Ross, Leah to full-time meeting.  I found a local bar and immersed myself in the Red Sox and Summer Wheat.  Then I went to another place just because it was called Daisy Buchanan's, which also turned out to be a good local dive.

Thursday: another day of ARRS meeting, with 7a-4p imaging review course.  Oh, I found a coffee place that gives away free small coffee because they just opened a week ago.  What a deal.  My course is just another good way to study for boards.  I skipped some of the mammo lectures because, honestly, I never plan on reading a mammogram and I can actually say that because I'm going into pediatric radiology.  Never say never.  Dinner was best minestrone ever at Ciao Bella, which is a great place (stocked with Hendricks gin by the way).  Spent some time at Apple's biggest retail store.

Remember:  Record highs on a few of the days here; sunburns; up to 90 on Sunday and Tuesday.  Ross in his BOB stroller, which was like a second home and (thankfully) second bed. Lots of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  The "green house," our Commonwealth Avenue apartment in Back Bay, so named because of a green awning out front.  Loudest window unit air conditioner on the planet.  Laundry in the scary basement. Red Sox mania.  Long freaking walks because we didn't have a great map; I am a good tour guide, but maybe not that interested in details.  City walking by myself (it's what I do).  Erica thinking the Prudential observation was free and telling the worker , who had no response but to disagree politely.  

Ride

So I lasted on skis for a day and a half.  At that point, Erica and I were really skiing well on the top of the mountain blues.  There was a ton of powder from overnight Monday, so that made it more strenuous.  I was wearing out, though.  My shins felt like they were being stood upon by a 300 pound football player.  We made it down to the base, and I promptly turned in the skis.  I don't know if it's an improper fit, bad technique, or just my gimpy anatomy, but ski boots are hell. 

Wisest decision of the trip: trade for a snowboard.  Beginning anew isn't easy, but it was so much more fun.  I took yesterday afternoon off, then spent some time wandering around the base area.  Which was lucky because I found the best restaurant.  It is Cafe Diva; we both thought it was the best meal we have ever eaten.  It's fun when everything comes together and congeals into a perfect evening.

Today was a full day of school for me.  It was so much fun!  I didn't get as frustrated as I thought I would.  I feel like I did learn the basics and could progress to the next level if, miraculously, we awoke to 14 feet of snow and couldn't leave tomorrow.   I'm grateful there were no video cameras.

After school and during the early evening, I drank 32 ounces of Gatorade, 8 ounces of water, and 16 ounces of milk.  I think it was a dehydrated day.  I was shedding layers throughout my little school time.  Learning is hard work!

We stayed in tonight so that we could rest and pack.  Erica tore up her hip on a fall due to nasty patch of ice.  She is hobbling around.  I am going to get her a little bell to ring.  Injury will make for a fun travel day!  

All in all, a successful trip despite a few disasters.  We are missing the boy and our little home life.  I'm sure he is having a blast, but it's time to hug our little man!

Steamboat

We are on our ski vacation, which means we're away from Ross for four nights!  Erica has called to check several times, the explanation for which (we all know) goes way beyond her shared genetics to include her and my personalities.  

So this is one of the most gorgeous places in the world, and I have taken a total of zero pictures.  It's also the land of single digits, ergo my refusal to remove gloves unless E's life depended on it.  I can fold and unfold a trail map with my gloves on.  I don't think I can manage the little shutter release on her tiny camera.  And I would most likely drop said camera, as I have done the ski poles, ChapStick, and trail map.  

The two of us are kind of a comedy of errors.  [Interruption - the Wheel of Fortune answer just came across as "beginner and intermediate ski slopes."]  With these long sticks firmly attached to our feet, which themselves are made completely immobile with bindings, I mean ski boots, it is nearly impossible to ski the long one-degree uphill grade that comprises the lift line.  Seriously, when very few people are skiing, can't they just make the line chutes obsolete?  Those of us who are weak and novice have a hard time cross country skiing to the start of the non-existent line.  E has fallen in such situations several times.

Take a step back: we have already spilled a full Starbucks coffee at the Little Rock airport, lost and next-day found a credit card, and lost my skis.  How do you lose skis?  Well, we're riding up the gondola this morning when I look out at the skis in the little holder.  There are two professional pairs for the guys who are serious and wearing helmets, there's a pair that is labeled "E Braswell," and there's a pair that looks just like mine labeled "JT."  So we ride the gondola back down and walk over to the scene of the crime.  I replace JT's skis, but mine are long gone.  They are EXACTLY the same skis and poles.  We probably even wear the same shoe size, because this person didn't return these after a couple of hours of us watching for them.  So we go to the rental place and they tell me to walk back down to pick up JT's which can be refitted for my boots.  Each step in this process equals 1-2 flights of stairs in ski boots.

So the good stuff.  We are staying at the Steamboat Grand, which is appropriately named.  It is at the base of the mountain and super close to the lifts.  Our room is two rooms in one: a large king hotel room with gas logs and awesome bathroom, and a big sitting room with gas logs, a full kitchen, couches, window seats, huge dining room table, and its own full bath.  Two flat screens.  I mean, the Duggars couldn't stay here, but a lot of Frances could.  I don't know how I made the mistake of booking this place!  I am way too cheap.  

Recap: 

We had a routine flight to Denver, where we then sat on the concrete for almost 2 hours.  But we made the connection to Hayden/Steamboat airport and had a quick flight to the mountain.  Our shuttle took about 30 minutes.  We walked around a little last night and ate at the Gondola Pub and Grille, but it was 0 degrees and dark.  Fairly early night.

Today, we had breakfast in the lodge (included, for those of your keeping track of my travel agent skills).  We came up to the room and put 7 layers on.  Okay, not quite, but a lot.  We started with a couple of green runs - we got off the lift at a half-way point that says "BEGINNERS - EXIT."  That was smart as it turned out.  Anyway, after that we rode the gondola and did some longer greens.  The snow is awesome, and this mountain is gorgeous.  I haven't been anywhere like this.  Very spread out, wide runs, but tons of trees.  I think it was then that we took a break and then chose the wrong skis.  That realization led to lunch.  The next time, we rode the gondola again but then kept catching lifts up higher and higher on the way down the runs.  We ended up at the top of the mountain - 10,384 feet at Sunshine Peak.  From there, we got to experience some perfectly rolling blues with fresh powder.  We went to the top twice, and then it took two more lifts and series of runs to get to the front side of the mountain and home.  Whew.  

One more debacle - I busted on a shortcut walkway to the grocery store.  Oh well, we were able to make dinner and relax in our condo.  Tomorrow is more skiing and pick a restaurant day.  We are sore.  

True love

The main change recently is that Mae has moved to a farm.  This is a good thing.  She is reportedly happy, and we are definitely happy.  Things are more peaceful, Dory is like a new woman, and we now have a daily reminder of what true love between a boy and his dog is.  

Our new nanny is a lifesaver.  We have all kinds of names for her, but the bottom line is that we are better off.  We are less stressed, better fed, and more organized.  Tennille and Ross make a great team.  She is really on board with our parenting goals and philosophies.  All of which is very good, especially given that we will be taking a break from Parent's Day Out for the previously mentioned reasons.

I have to take a break to tell you that Ross has gotten his second wind tonight, which includes running all around, not minding, pulling Dory's ears, and stating, "I NEED CANDY."  Now he is jumping on the couch.  This usually means it is bedtime.  For some reason, it happens most nights.  He had a dose of Benadryl about an hour ago.  Maybe this is a paradoxical reaction.  That would be so bad, because we often rely on pharmaceutical help with bedtime.  Now he is saying "READY! JUMP" from the couch.  He said, "Be careful take a big jump so high."  Erica is about to pass out from nervousness.

He thinks there is a monster in our house.  It is silly, not scary, and alternates between being yellow and brown.  Why would such a young kid think there's a monster hiding in our house?Where did he get that?

Work is good.  I did a month-long rotation on pediatric interventional radiology and loved it.  That is comforting given that I want to dedicate my career to this field.  It would have been pretty weird to have hated it.

We want to sell our house.  We are the most indecisive people.  Maybe we have bad luck.  Or chronically inadequate expectations about what it will be like once we've lived in a house for a year.  Anyway, we would love to find a way out at this point.  For lots of reasons, not the least of which is that this one if breaking the bank.  

Okay, it's clear I need to study.  Why else would I be such a good blogger?

Excerpt

Here's an excerpt from the seven-paragraph (SEVEN!) email that was in my inbox when Ross was picked up from school.  

I'm not including the paragraphs that suggested we get professional help.  Or the one that said an occupational therapist might be able to prescribe a "sensory diet."  Names have been changed to protect the innocent.  

[K**** said he did try to bite A**** on the finger today, but it didn’t leave a mark.  She didn’t write it up, and I’m not going to count it as one of his three “chances”.  I have let her know that if he bites at school, he has to be picked up, and after three occurrences, he won’t be able to come back.  I really hope it doesn’t get that far.  You know I really love Ross; we all do.  It seems to me like a very severe consequence, but I have to make sure the other children are safe.  I can’t put the church in a position of liability.

 

We remain open to any other suggestions you might have to help Ross get through this difficult time.  He is a smart, sweet boy, and we will do anything we can to help him (and you two).]

Did that say July???

I just logged in and saw that my last post was July 28th.  Is that possible?  Are they going to kick me off for never attempting to entertain a few readers?  Would I deserve it?  Probably so.

I blame Facebook.  It's my new way to keep in touch, and given its ubiquity on the phone, I barely ever check or update blogs.  How's that for Arkansas grammar?  "barely ever"  "hardly ever"  sheesh.

Anyway, we are of course busy.  We are of course good.  Life is good.  Erica has finished boards, I am starting to study for mine, we have a super sweet President elect, and Ross is an amazing kid.  Other than continually biting anything that breathes at his once-a-week parents' day out, he is the most genuine, intelligent, lovable thing on the face of the planet.

Holy smokes

I am a Facebook victim.  That thing is ridiculous.  I thought reading books could while away the time.  Geez.

Meanwhile, we're doing fine, if Erica could ever get my head out of the laptop these last couple of days.  Her mom has been diagnosed with a large chest mass - long story short, the biopsy is benign and she sees a surgeon tomorrow to get it taken out sometime soon.  The big family beach plan is somewhat on hold.

Ross is a maniac, jumping and climbing and wanting no help on the diving board!  He calls us both "Eah" because the twins always called me that growing up.  It has been a struggle to try to teach him "E-Momma."  And he's now getting a little more personality while playing with other kids, i.e. knocking them over and pulling hair.  That's what happens when you have a 9-year-old boy for a cousin.  He says "cheese" whenever he sees a camera.  He can't stop jabbering.  When he wants something, he says "eah" over and over and over again until we pay attention!  It is kind of cute.

I have also discovered jott.com for list-keeping.  It is like coming home again for anyone with OCD such as myself.

Now I just need to add to the list: figure out how to make my blog more techno-savvy.  It has been neglected.  I don't even have all my links on the side.  Love my blogs.  And don't even mention pictures and videos.  

Off to FB for more chatting with the long-losts.

W

It's been another whirlwind weekend.  Say that five times fast.

I got back into town last Wednesday, which was a day late due to the current state of travel affairs.  My little cute family picked me up at the airport, and we spent the day together.  Of course since I am a slacker blogger I don't have a freaking clue what we did that day, but I'm sure it was fun.  You'll have to check out Erica's blog to get a real sense of our goings-on.  Oh, and she'll also explain the pictures above.

Work was fairly calm on Thursday and Friday.  Our PACS (that's the computer system that we use to do EVERY BIT of our jobs in radiology world) was acting up, but what can you do but be patient?  We went to the game Thursday and Dam Goode Pies on Friday.  Saturday was jam packed with errands and such.  I am dying for a Vespa scooter, so we went and looked at those.  Did you know that they hold 2.3 Gallons of gas?  That they get over 80 mpg?  That that means I could drive 184 miles for about 9 dollars?  Did I multiply correctly (it's late)?

Alas, I have credit cards to pay off, a tree that needs cutting down, insulation that needs to be put in my attic, three holes in my entry way sheetrock, and the desire for more STUFF, including a dining room table and 2 new Macs?  Not to mention the prospect of a new nanny.  I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of stuff.  Oh well, W will be sending me a check soon, and I'm sure that will make it all better.

We did interview a nanny hopeful.  She is young but totally taken with the boy.  He loved her.  We're going to give it a shot. Sunday was church, lunch with Bebbie and Erin, and then work day for me.  I sat my behind in the office chair and sorted.  I got a ton of stuff done, but there is a lot more to do.  

The other big pressing issue is finding a home for Mae.  Our Aussie is born to herd and born to pester toddlers.  We are having territory issues.  No one has been injured in the making of this blog, but I'm afraid that's just a matter of time.  We will be printing flyers, talking with the vet, and all-out begging.

Ross has had another explosion of change in the last week.  Maybe his haircut prompted it.  He is putting words together, pointing at things in his books, playing hide and seek, and gesturing.  The new favorite game is "On your mark, get set, go!"  He played with a turtle today and smeared pear juice in his hair yesterday.  He is a nut.  Favorite names:  Rossy-man, gooberhead, angel baby boy.

I'm off to sleep to regenerate muscle fibers.  I've overdone it with starting out running (again) this weekend.  Ouch

Dear Boston

Dear Boston,

Thank you for hosting the 17th International Workshop on Vascular Anomalies.  I am thrilled to be here.  I will always remember this meeting as the jumping off place for what will hopefully define my career as a pediatric interventional radiologist.  Thank you for investing in the Charles Street Jail and transforming it into a boutique hotel to which I will gladly return.  The Liberty Hotel has been a wonderful home base in Beacon Hill.  Every staff member calls me "Doctor Braswell," the toiletries are delightful in the granite-tiled shower, and the mini-bar is well stocked (well, it was).  The flat screen doesn't hurt, either.

Dear Boston,

Thank you for the sailboats and wind surfers on the Charles River, the gaslights and cobblestones on Charles St., the swan boats at the Public Gardens, and the infinite rows of brownstones.  Thank you for selling me my first (first!) copy of the Oxford American today so that I would not have to stare into space while eating alone a slice of whole wheat crust Daily Special pizza at the Upper Crust.  Who would have thought I would have to come here to buy Arkansas literature? Thank you for my long walks and sore calves.  

Dear Boston,

You hosted me a couple of times before.  When I was a little kid in the eighties, you probably thought I was barefoot and straight out of Walker Percy's Mississippi.  You weren't completely wrong.  You told me "We don't carry Dr. Pepper in these pahts" without a hint of irony.  You showed me for the first time what real wind and cold are.  I didn't forget.  When I was a college student tagging along with my roommate and her family for the MIT family weekend, you laid the Freedom Trail out before my feet, and I loved knowing why history matters and stays and doesn't fundamentally change.

Dear Boston,

Thank you for hosting the St. Louis Cardinals during the weekend I am in town.  What luck!  I am very interested in your sports culture and have read all the Globe's coverage of the Celtics championships last week.  A city that loves their teams is a place I can love.  I took great pains to plan a potential outing at the country's oldest ball field.  I scouted internet bargains, asked questions, and walked to Fenway to see for myself.  The Cards were trouncing your Sox and it was well into the game, so I knew my scalper was going to be easy to find and ready to sell.  I couldn't find him or anyone else, though, so I walked and loitered outside the bars and caught TV snippets and shopped for baseball caps.  I turned back.  On my way, the only guy left selling tickets gave me a deal.  I retraced my steps again and found the gate, made small talk with the attendant, smelled the hot dogs, felt the roar of the crowd.  

Dear Boston,

Your ticket man robbed me and sold me a bogus ticket.

Dear Boston,

I will never forget that.  I might never forgive it.  Please find your crumpled ticket in the green trash receptacle on Newbury Street amongst the coffee-stained newspapers.  Thanks for nothing.  When I bring my son to your ball park, I will not let him know that such things happen in the name of the greatest game on earth.  Let's just keep it a secret, shall we?

Set list

indigo girls

Little Rock's Robinson Center Music Hall

June 10th, 2008 8PM

pendulum swinger

yield

fill it up again

heartache for everyone

power of two

hope alone*

world falls*

get out the map

sugar time?

fleet of hope?

three hits

hammer & nail

devotion

last tears*

another new song?

prince of darkness

shame on you

"don't think twice it's all right"?*

kid fears*

closer to fine**

-encore-

tried to be true*

rock and roll heaven's gate**

galileo**

Legend:  * = brandi carlile joined, **= brandi and her band, ?=new songs I don't know the names to very well

It was a really great show.  But the whole story would take pages and pages, because the night was screwed up by melancholy and fighting and breakdown.  I have some work to do.  We have some work to do.  My whole life has been on hold since that night, and I have experienced the full range of human emotions.  Let's just say there are three mental health appointments for me in the next 48 hours as I attend to myself.  It happens.  I am not immune to my humanity.

Fever

Ross has a fever bug.  It was up to 104.1 this evening, which is not fun.  Imagine two doctors sitting around scratching their heads wondering what to do next.  And then we snap back into reality and realize that there are medicines for these things, and we give them to kids, and then we put the kid in the bath, and then we repeat.  The only thing worse than feeling miserable is feeling miserable in some emergency room or hospital.  We know these truths to be self-evident.

He also has asthma, which we realized on the two preceding days.  Wheezing is not fun, either, but we are blessed to have a set of bronchioles that responds to updrafts.  Whew.  We cleaned the house this weekend, which stirred up dust, which mixed with the pollen, which made for asthma exacerbation.

At least the downstairs is clean.  Now if I could just get up in the mornings to get back into a workout routine.  Fat chance - I leave for DC for another week on Saturday.  I have a busy week remaining; there is a visiting professor in our department, which always means extra time for lectures.  I'm also going to dinner tomorrow night with some of the dept., and that will be a drawn-out event.  

Dream

E and I have been talking a lot lately about building our dream house someday.  We want 5 acres with woods, mountain view, big house, pool, lots of garage space, etc.  The works.  It is so much fun to plan and discuss.  We have been doing this as long as we have known each other.  When we were in medical school, we bought architecture plan magazines and pored over our favorites.  Now we live in a 30-year-old house that has some creaks and cracks.  It is one thing after another.  

But the dreams are in a lot of ways already realized.  It's fun to do the journey, but we've got it all.  It's amazing to know we will make "real" money when residency is finished, but we've got it all.  I have to remind myself.  

Ross is all over the place.  We find him up on the kitchen table, standing and clapping.  He climbs the stairs by himself.  He climbs the ladder for the slide, as above.  He wants to carry his backpack or any other bag.  He is starting to make intelligible noises for words like "duck" and "backpack."  Just yesterday, he started pointing to each item I mentioned in his favorite book.

I like the picture of him in his skunk hat.  He wore the heck out of that one and the puppy dog one this winter.  And he loved that red jacket with a fire truck on it.  Now he is into plaid shorts and navy Crocks.  We also bought Merrels when he outgrew the last pair of shoes.  We were smart this time - no shoestrings for the whole summer, unless he wears white when dressing up.

I went to Rogers this weekend for a friend's wedding.  It was a true England, AR, event.  I grew up in a town of 3000 people, but to me it was a universe of safety net.  It was the whole world, and nothing could really go wrong.  What a good time to be around the core group of people who truly raised me and now watch me raise a boy.  I will forever believe that there are no finer people on the planet than these.

Work is work.  I look forward to another trip to DC for a meeting in a few weeks, then a meeting in June in Boston.  E and I are planning some vacation time the first week of May.  Hopefully some nights in a tent, and some time in St. Louis, and some wins against the Cubbies.