Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Essentials
What I can't live without here in Cincy, otherwise known as the list of things I enjoy about being here:
Skype
Terry's Turf Club, my Monday night burger dive
Netflix
iTunes (to push back the quiet)
Fun colleagues and IR team
Time to read
Whole Foods
My trainer
My tough Honda Pilot in all its terrain-tromping wonderfulness
Restaurants with bars, so that I never have to get a table for one
The promise of spring; the accomplishment of learning to deal with the cold
Google Maps and GPS
My routines are solid now. I never did live an adult life on my own. Well, there was about a month of medical school before E and I became a we. I think if things had gone completely different in my life (thank God that's not the case), it would look somewhat like what it is now. I get up early, read the news/feeds/FB, make coffee and breakfast, leave for work at 6:50, change into scrubs, work, change out of scrubs, home. The last part is where there are frequent deviations. Many nights I go to dinner with folks from work. Mondays I go to Terry's. Some nights I eat at home. I stay home on Friday evenings. I go to the movies on Saturdays. I wash clothes and take out the trash on Sundays. I mean, this is what people do who don't have families, I guess. There are parts of this that I like. As a type A hoarder of details and plans, this kinda fits my psyche. [You should see the organization of my bathroom shelf.]
I don't crave drama and chaos. I don't love the unexpected.
BUT I MISS THOSE THINGS! Shock of all shocks, to learn some things about yourself. I can literally feel what my kids would feel like in my hands. It is a visceral kind of miss. It is so cliche, but all those good and bad and crazy and ugly things about being a family are so crucial to our beings.
On another note, if you ever get the chance to experience being recruited, enjoy it. It is quite flattering. It probably needs to stop before I get a big head. My humility is really taking a beating around here. OK, not really, but there is a certain allure to the attention. And appreciation. I am so grateful for all the training I've had up to this experience. I was ready to tackle this. I am good at what I do, and I found the perfect job for me. Some kids actually get better when we treat them. All of these things I owe to the people who trained me so well. What a blessing.
No, we're not moving. But my eyes are open to the possibility. I have now seen for the first time another medical system. Another set of rules, routines, experiences, and outcomes. There's a whole world out there!!!! It will someday become very clear that the timing is right for me to chase my career to a new place. When that day comes, I think I'll be ready.
Tomorrow, HOME. Exhale.
Skype
Terry's Turf Club, my Monday night burger dive
Netflix
iTunes (to push back the quiet)
Fun colleagues and IR team
Time to read
Whole Foods
My trainer
My tough Honda Pilot in all its terrain-tromping wonderfulness
Restaurants with bars, so that I never have to get a table for one
The promise of spring; the accomplishment of learning to deal with the cold
Google Maps and GPS
My routines are solid now. I never did live an adult life on my own. Well, there was about a month of medical school before E and I became a we. I think if things had gone completely different in my life (thank God that's not the case), it would look somewhat like what it is now. I get up early, read the news/feeds/FB, make coffee and breakfast, leave for work at 6:50, change into scrubs, work, change out of scrubs, home. The last part is where there are frequent deviations. Many nights I go to dinner with folks from work. Mondays I go to Terry's. Some nights I eat at home. I stay home on Friday evenings. I go to the movies on Saturdays. I wash clothes and take out the trash on Sundays. I mean, this is what people do who don't have families, I guess. There are parts of this that I like. As a type A hoarder of details and plans, this kinda fits my psyche. [You should see the organization of my bathroom shelf.]
I don't crave drama and chaos. I don't love the unexpected.
BUT I MISS THOSE THINGS! Shock of all shocks, to learn some things about yourself. I can literally feel what my kids would feel like in my hands. It is a visceral kind of miss. It is so cliche, but all those good and bad and crazy and ugly things about being a family are so crucial to our beings.
On another note, if you ever get the chance to experience being recruited, enjoy it. It is quite flattering. It probably needs to stop before I get a big head. My humility is really taking a beating around here. OK, not really, but there is a certain allure to the attention. And appreciation. I am so grateful for all the training I've had up to this experience. I was ready to tackle this. I am good at what I do, and I found the perfect job for me. Some kids actually get better when we treat them. All of these things I owe to the people who trained me so well. What a blessing.
No, we're not moving. But my eyes are open to the possibility. I have now seen for the first time another medical system. Another set of rules, routines, experiences, and outcomes. There's a whole world out there!!!! It will someday become very clear that the timing is right for me to chase my career to a new place. When that day comes, I think I'll be ready.
Tomorrow, HOME. Exhale.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Normal
It's hard to believe, but I'm adjusting to my new normal here in Cincinnati. Some thoughts about the first two weeks:
It is colder here than at home, but it's true that expectations and preparation play an important role. When you're ready for it, it doesn't bother you. I have a strange sense of enjoyment when the weather is going to be really cold and snowy. And I'm surprised that the people here aren't more prepared for snow. Roads, schools, grocery stores, etc - they all take a hit just like at home. I've been told you have to proceed a couple more hours north for the true winter-ready folk. Parking outside is not a big deal. Parking just across the street is not a big deal.
The apartment is a good fit. It had been a while since I lived somewhere with radiant heat (ahem, Gorgas), but it sure is nice to have tall ceilings, hardwood floors, and a real claw foot tub. The sun room is a perfect place for my bike and car seats. Going outside and down the stairs for laundry is not a big deal.
The job is great. I am not overly taxed, but I am busy. The days feel complete. I am learning and sharing knowledge. I keep taking Evernotes to try to remember how to set up for and perform certain procedures. The attendings are friends. The techs are fun. The atmosphere is collegial, and they appreciate my sense of humor. Perhaps best of all, the four IR docs let me be one of the guys. We make dirty jokes and go out drinking after work together. Hangovers are not off limits as conversation topics.
The hospital is picky, though. These people scrub their hands three times (we prefer once). They do not one, but three timeouts for every procedure. They go nuts about badges, isolation, and protocols of every type. And the scrubs are kept in a stupid machine that delivers "credits," but woe to those who wear a size "small" and expect to retrieve in the 7:00 AM range. Sheesh.
Technology makes life easy. GPS in the Pilot is used daily. Skype is used daily. Oh, what a difference. I have a nearby Whole Foods, a nearby gym, a nearby Target, and a nearby movie theater. I've read two books and seen two movies already. OK, if you must know: A Moveable Feast, The Sun Also Rises, True Grit, The King's Speech. These are things I don't get to do at home.
It's kind of a simple life. I have with me only what I need, and I prepare my own breakfast and dinner. A lot of nights, I have cheese and crackers and berries for dinner.
My family and I are adjusting well, but it's never the same. I love being here. I just need the best of both worlds to coexist.
It is colder here than at home, but it's true that expectations and preparation play an important role. When you're ready for it, it doesn't bother you. I have a strange sense of enjoyment when the weather is going to be really cold and snowy. And I'm surprised that the people here aren't more prepared for snow. Roads, schools, grocery stores, etc - they all take a hit just like at home. I've been told you have to proceed a couple more hours north for the true winter-ready folk. Parking outside is not a big deal. Parking just across the street is not a big deal.
The apartment is a good fit. It had been a while since I lived somewhere with radiant heat (ahem, Gorgas), but it sure is nice to have tall ceilings, hardwood floors, and a real claw foot tub. The sun room is a perfect place for my bike and car seats. Going outside and down the stairs for laundry is not a big deal.
The job is great. I am not overly taxed, but I am busy. The days feel complete. I am learning and sharing knowledge. I keep taking Evernotes to try to remember how to set up for and perform certain procedures. The attendings are friends. The techs are fun. The atmosphere is collegial, and they appreciate my sense of humor. Perhaps best of all, the four IR docs let me be one of the guys. We make dirty jokes and go out drinking after work together. Hangovers are not off limits as conversation topics.
The hospital is picky, though. These people scrub their hands three times (we prefer once). They do not one, but three timeouts for every procedure. They go nuts about badges, isolation, and protocols of every type. And the scrubs are kept in a stupid machine that delivers "credits," but woe to those who wear a size "small" and expect to retrieve in the 7:00 AM range. Sheesh.
Technology makes life easy. GPS in the Pilot is used daily. Skype is used daily. Oh, what a difference. I have a nearby Whole Foods, a nearby gym, a nearby Target, and a nearby movie theater. I've read two books and seen two movies already. OK, if you must know: A Moveable Feast, The Sun Also Rises, True Grit, The King's Speech. These are things I don't get to do at home.
It's kind of a simple life. I have with me only what I need, and I prepare my own breakfast and dinner. A lot of nights, I have cheese and crackers and berries for dinner.
My family and I are adjusting well, but it's never the same. I love being here. I just need the best of both worlds to coexist.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Digital
I read hundreds of RSS feeds every day, many of which are blogs of people I know and (more often) people I don't know. Mom blogs, Arkansas blogs, political blogs, news blogs, gay blogs, mac blogs. You name it. I read facebook updates. I even follow like three twitter people. I am constantly reading, reading, reading. I am a book lover with a recently established book club. I am an academician, constantly staying abreast of the latest radiology publications. It never stops. And I haven't even bought an iPad yet - I'm waiting for the second version.
Almost all of these things in my life, with the exception of the old-fashioned book, are new. I didn't have them a few years ago. God knows I wasn't reading journals when I was a resident, even though I should have been. And now, I check the computer in the morning, I check my phone between cases at work, and I often sit with my computer in the evenings. When I'm moonlighting, awake at 3 AM waiting on a CT to download, I see who's posted. And I haven't mentioned a little thing called television yet.
I know this is the most un-original topic of 2011, but sometimes I think I am over-digitized. I might look back on my life and declare standing in line in June 2007 (for the first day of the first iPhone) to be the pivotal point in my life. Seriously, what DID we do before smartphones?
Is my new years' resolution to ditch the digital and spend more time talking to family, taking music courses, drinking wine at art galleries, and exercising? Do I vow to get out and enjoy real life more?
No, I'm much too far gone. I've been thinking of ways to do it all better. Get rid of some FB friends (at least block their posts): done. Delete all FB following that isn't a real live human being (e.g. Barack Obama and Planned Parenthood): done. Pare down the RSS list (even NPR! gasp!): done. Save feeds that list convenient iPad apps for efficient browsing, blogging, etc: done. Get a ReadItLater account, so that I can blast through feeds and save some for a more appropriate time: not yet done.
I've come to the conclusion that technology does more good than harm in my life, and I'm not ashamed to say it. In all honesty, it is quite rare that Erica or I look at one another and give that suggestive "put the phone away" stare. Apps like Todo, Mint, and Evernote have changed my life for the organizational better. I can actually tell you my DEA number and Reid's social security number within about 10 seconds. Hipstamatic and MobileMe Gallery have improved how I save and view images of my family. I shop on my phone so that I don't have to go search for crap, and it makes me a more discriminating buyer. I pay bills in the bathroom sometimes. I can tell you how many miles I ran and biked in 2010 (not even remotely enough). Another saving grace: I'm not a gamer. I play Words with Friends with my mom and Erica, rarely anyone else, and that's it. And I haven't been lost in Little Rock or elsewhere since June 2007. I've been lots of places since then.
So, yes, my screen time has to be monitored in a way. I can't let myself become one with the computer chair, ignoring my life. And I know all about the iPhone moisture sensors, so I can't use it in the shower after all. But I would argue that my life is more efficient, more enriched, and more aware than it was a few years ago. That's why I'm not blogging about a week-long hiatus from technology and how cleansed it made me feel in the end. I'm looking for the next best app.
Almost all of these things in my life, with the exception of the old-fashioned book, are new. I didn't have them a few years ago. God knows I wasn't reading journals when I was a resident, even though I should have been. And now, I check the computer in the morning, I check my phone between cases at work, and I often sit with my computer in the evenings. When I'm moonlighting, awake at 3 AM waiting on a CT to download, I see who's posted. And I haven't mentioned a little thing called television yet.
I know this is the most un-original topic of 2011, but sometimes I think I am over-digitized. I might look back on my life and declare standing in line in June 2007 (for the first day of the first iPhone) to be the pivotal point in my life. Seriously, what DID we do before smartphones?
Is my new years' resolution to ditch the digital and spend more time talking to family, taking music courses, drinking wine at art galleries, and exercising? Do I vow to get out and enjoy real life more?
No, I'm much too far gone. I've been thinking of ways to do it all better. Get rid of some FB friends (at least block their posts): done. Delete all FB following that isn't a real live human being (e.g. Barack Obama and Planned Parenthood): done. Pare down the RSS list (even NPR! gasp!): done. Save feeds that list convenient iPad apps for efficient browsing, blogging, etc: done. Get a ReadItLater account, so that I can blast through feeds and save some for a more appropriate time: not yet done.
I've come to the conclusion that technology does more good than harm in my life, and I'm not ashamed to say it. In all honesty, it is quite rare that Erica or I look at one another and give that suggestive "put the phone away" stare. Apps like Todo, Mint, and Evernote have changed my life for the organizational better. I can actually tell you my DEA number and Reid's social security number within about 10 seconds. Hipstamatic and MobileMe Gallery have improved how I save and view images of my family. I shop on my phone so that I don't have to go search for crap, and it makes me a more discriminating buyer. I pay bills in the bathroom sometimes. I can tell you how many miles I ran and biked in 2010 (not even remotely enough). Another saving grace: I'm not a gamer. I play Words with Friends with my mom and Erica, rarely anyone else, and that's it. And I haven't been lost in Little Rock or elsewhere since June 2007. I've been lots of places since then.
So, yes, my screen time has to be monitored in a way. I can't let myself become one with the computer chair, ignoring my life. And I know all about the iPhone moisture sensors, so I can't use it in the shower after all. But I would argue that my life is more efficient, more enriched, and more aware than it was a few years ago. That's why I'm not blogging about a week-long hiatus from technology and how cleansed it made me feel in the end. I'm looking for the next best app.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Before (Part 1 of 3)
Before my grandmother died, she was lots of things:
Classy
Giving
Sometimes irritating
Lover of scarves, leather gloves, and jewelry
Wine drinker
Shaky (years of anti-epileptic drugs' side effects)
Tall
Early riser
Shopper
Dog lover
Laugher
Computer savvy
Chocaholic (really, anything sweet would do)
Budding genealogist
Nervous/worried
Environmentally conscious
Limited in culinary talents
Painter
Detail oriented
Cold cream user
Coffee drinker
Political
Crafty
Breast cancer survivor
Sentimental
NOT forgetful
Country and cosmopolitan at the same time
Outgoing
Secretive
Mother of 2, grandmother of 4, great-grandmother of 5
Widow x 2, divorcee x 2
Engrossed in numerous successive projects
Content
Faithful and prayerful
Adventursome
Obsessed with flowers
Never very well-off
Fiesty and a little vindictive
She didn't really have an easy life. I can't blame her her faults.
We always knew that the tangle of vessels in her right parietal lobe were there, tempting fate. We knew she should have, could have bled and died long ago. We didn't know it would be on a Saturday, or that it would happen right before my mother's eyes, or that the preceding days would have been so precious and joyful. How could we have?
Classy
Giving
Sometimes irritating
Lover of scarves, leather gloves, and jewelry
Wine drinker
Shaky (years of anti-epileptic drugs' side effects)
Tall
Early riser
Shopper
Dog lover
Laugher
Computer savvy
Chocaholic (really, anything sweet would do)
Budding genealogist
Nervous/worried
Environmentally conscious
Limited in culinary talents
Painter
Detail oriented
Cold cream user
Coffee drinker
Political
Crafty
Breast cancer survivor
Sentimental
NOT forgetful
Country and cosmopolitan at the same time
Outgoing
Secretive
Mother of 2, grandmother of 4, great-grandmother of 5
Widow x 2, divorcee x 2
Engrossed in numerous successive projects
Content
Faithful and prayerful
Adventursome
Obsessed with flowers
Never very well-off
Fiesty and a little vindictive
She didn't really have an easy life. I can't blame her her faults.
We always knew that the tangle of vessels in her right parietal lobe were there, tempting fate. We knew she should have, could have bled and died long ago. We didn't know it would be on a Saturday, or that it would happen right before my mother's eyes, or that the preceding days would have been so precious and joyful. How could we have?
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Musing
Why can't a gas station credit card reader not tell if I'm using debit or credit? There's ample technology involved in the transaction to be able to discern.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wagon
I fell off the blog wagon after all that January drama.
I am enjoying a Sunday afternoon with my computer, playing catch up and planning how much more there is to do. Including taxes. If I get that done, it'll be huge.
We are having an open house now; the family is sleeping while I do my solitude thing. Pa.ndora, Goog.le Reader, Face.book, etc. I'm so web savvy! I know how to put dots between popular words so creeps don't find me!!!!!
Dory has heartworms and is undergoing treatment. She had her first shot Friday. It makes us feel like horrible moms for letting her get sick. Now she has to be super calm for six weeks. Good luck.
I am going to Cincinnati for 6 months (January-June 2011). So that's decided. I picked the 6-month, direct-flight, normal working hours, no-call option. Shocking, really. So I plan on my first real paycheck at the end of July 2011. There. It's out there. We can make it.
Ross is into costumes: Darth Vader, Jedi, dragon, Spiderman, pirate.
Reid is trying out rice cereal this week. Sitting up a little bit. LAUGHING. But mostly very serious. Nursing eighty times a night. Chomping on fingers. Squeezing his toes.
I am enjoying a Sunday afternoon with my computer, playing catch up and planning how much more there is to do. Including taxes. If I get that done, it'll be huge.
We are having an open house now; the family is sleeping while I do my solitude thing. Pa.ndora, Goog.le Reader, Face.book, etc. I'm so web savvy! I know how to put dots between popular words so creeps don't find me!!!!!
Dory has heartworms and is undergoing treatment. She had her first shot Friday. It makes us feel like horrible moms for letting her get sick. Now she has to be super calm for six weeks. Good luck.
I am going to Cincinnati for 6 months (January-June 2011). So that's decided. I picked the 6-month, direct-flight, normal working hours, no-call option. Shocking, really. So I plan on my first real paycheck at the end of July 2011. There. It's out there. We can make it.
Ross is into costumes: Darth Vader, Jedi, dragon, Spiderman, pirate.
Reid is trying out rice cereal this week. Sitting up a little bit. LAUGHING. But mostly very serious. Nursing eighty times a night. Chomping on fingers. Squeezing his toes.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
D
We are in big D. I wish it were for better reasons. We left early this morning and had a really good trip with the boys (i.e. they didn't scream in their seats, no major spills, no bad weather, etc). Erica's mom is with us to help with them. Reid has to be with Erica for feeds, obviously, so we couldn't leave them at home. But they can't come to events with us, so Margie is taking good care of everyone.
The visitation was horrible. We are drained. I'll never forget it as long as I live. The best part was seeing how much Audra needed Erica and was glad to see her.
Our hotel is a little shady and smells like French fry grease. But I am a cheap skate and found it for 58 on hotels.com.
The visitation was horrible. We are drained. I'll never forget it as long as I live. The best part was seeing how much Audra needed Erica and was glad to see her.
Our hotel is a little shady and smells like French fry grease. But I am a cheap skate and found it for 58 on hotels.com.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Quick
A quick post since I've broken my resolution and missed yesterday.
I had good reason. A friend of ours from Erica's residency class, Audra, lost her baby Thursday to SIDS. She was Reid's age. We spent our evening last night planning our trip to Dallas and talking. No time to hop in front of a screen.
I was actually off yesterday, so I had lots of good Reid time. Ross went to school. We went to my dad's new place to meet him and my aunt Becky, who will be decorating. He moves in a week if all goes as planned. We also went to see Mom at school. He was a hit and loved the attention. E met us for lunch at Bossa Nova (always a treat). Then the boys had check-ups. Reid had four shots and a rough evening.
Today I head in to round on a couple of patients, then we just plan some home time.
And no, I am no pregnant. Geez. And I can't adopt my kids in AR. It's just that I would like to work to change that process, ask if there are loopholes, etc.
I had good reason. A friend of ours from Erica's residency class, Audra, lost her baby Thursday to SIDS. She was Reid's age. We spent our evening last night planning our trip to Dallas and talking. No time to hop in front of a screen.
I was actually off yesterday, so I had lots of good Reid time. Ross went to school. We went to my dad's new place to meet him and my aunt Becky, who will be decorating. He moves in a week if all goes as planned. We also went to see Mom at school. He was a hit and loved the attention. E met us for lunch at Bossa Nova (always a treat). Then the boys had check-ups. Reid had four shots and a rough evening.
Today I head in to round on a couple of patients, then we just plan some home time.
And no, I am no pregnant. Geez. And I can't adopt my kids in AR. It's just that I would like to work to change that process, ask if there are loopholes, etc.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Rough
We had a rough night. Too much going on. Ross had a friend's birthday party tonight, and it was fun but set us back a bit. Weeknight excitement can do that. It somehow became 10:00 really fast.
We got NO precipitation, which I hope you remember was properly predicted here last night.
Reid has a persistent cold. How long is too long? Why does his cough sound so horrible? Has he peed enough? Does he need medicine? Why am I married to a pediatrician but have no clue how to settle our worries about these kids?
This morning I woke up dreaming that we had all been in a plane crash. I was trying hard to find the boys in the aftermath, which was quite a drawn out process. I finally got to this Catholic girls' school in a densely forested neighborhood. After finally finding the lobby, I stood at the desk while the nun started telling me that I had to fill out a form to remain on campus. I begged her to help me find "my boy." I kept saying it over and over again. It was like Ralph Fiennes in "The English Patient," when he can't get back to Katherine because they think he was (and he was) a spy. Only seemingly more dramatic. The other weird thing: One of my future partners was on staff at the school. I'm not going to tell her.
I think I harbor separation anxiety. One of my goals (New Year's Resolutions?) is to make progress in the land of Adopting My Kids. I could at least try.
We got NO precipitation, which I hope you remember was properly predicted here last night.
Reid has a persistent cold. How long is too long? Why does his cough sound so horrible? Has he peed enough? Does he need medicine? Why am I married to a pediatrician but have no clue how to settle our worries about these kids?
This morning I woke up dreaming that we had all been in a plane crash. I was trying hard to find the boys in the aftermath, which was quite a drawn out process. I finally got to this Catholic girls' school in a densely forested neighborhood. After finally finding the lobby, I stood at the desk while the nun started telling me that I had to fill out a form to remain on campus. I begged her to help me find "my boy." I kept saying it over and over again. It was like Ralph Fiennes in "The English Patient," when he can't get back to Katherine because they think he was (and he was) a spy. Only seemingly more dramatic. The other weird thing: One of my future partners was on staff at the school. I'm not going to tell her.
I think I harbor separation anxiety. One of my goals (New Year's Resolutions?) is to make progress in the land of Adopting My Kids. I could at least try.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Remember
I try to think of things during the day that would be great to post in the evening. There seem to be so many.
And yet. Here we are, with not much to say. About a year ago (almost two years), I read two books in short succession that each employed a narrative technique that involved little stream-of-consciousness sentences such as: "And yet." Even so." "Still." I always think of those books when I write something like that. It was super effective and made an impression on me. Great transitions. Richard Ford's "The Lay of the Land" and "History of Love" by Nicole Krauss.
On the radio this morning.
I hate tumor board in general, today's tumor board in particular. I always sweat and get a headache to be walking that plank.
It may snow tonight, so the whole world is in hysteria mode. Me, I have chosen to ignore. We go about our business. Ross throws a fit to go to bed, the breast pump in the other room whirs, and Reid devours his conglomerate fingers.
And yet. Here we are, with not much to say. About a year ago (almost two years), I read two books in short succession that each employed a narrative technique that involved little stream-of-consciousness sentences such as: "And yet." Even so." "Still." I always think of those books when I write something like that. It was super effective and made an impression on me. Great transitions. Richard Ford's "The Lay of the Land" and "History of Love" by Nicole Krauss.
On the radio this morning.
I hate tumor board in general, today's tumor board in particular. I always sweat and get a headache to be walking that plank.
It may snow tonight, so the whole world is in hysteria mode. Me, I have chosen to ignore. We go about our business. Ross throws a fit to go to bed, the breast pump in the other room whirs, and Reid devours his conglomerate fingers.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Fifth
Here we are at five days in a row. See, I could do it.
To answer: yes, my mom was temporarily sick. H1N1 for a week, followed by a secondary pneumonia that required hospitalization. She was really sick but made a full recovery. My dad met me in the ER. The three of us were alone together for hours on end, for the first time in several years. It was good considering the circumstances. Then it was bad because it got complicated. They made a movie about it; did you see it?? Meryl Streep even drives a Highlander.
Today was crazy at work. I got finished a little after 7 (that's radiologist speak for late). Erica had already made dinner and accomplished baths. I swept in for the final hurrah, read books, then they crashed. I don't remember sitting today, but I must have for a few minutes at a time. I did eat. It was a fun day.
I am still really frustrated with PICC lines in babies. It is the most technically challenging but banal of our procedures in IR. Bread and butter. Several a day. Technologists standing around tapping their toes. But the smaller the baby, the more difficult. Sometimes I feel like I'm gaining ground, but then I'll have trouble with a few. Like today. It is so frustrating to be in this position. Board certified, mid-year fellow, experienced, looking at another fellowship for these types of procedures, and totally screwing it up. I am capable of so many things, but that doesn't matter when I'm at the plate for one of these little kids. It WILL get better. My mantra.
I am learning so much. As the only fellow in the department, people bring me their interesting cases. They ask me questions. We look stuff up. I kind of know all the kids in the hospital - at least their images. I may never see them face to face, but I have them memorized. Lest you think it is all hard PICC lines, this is a most rewarding year to get to experience.
To answer: yes, my mom was temporarily sick. H1N1 for a week, followed by a secondary pneumonia that required hospitalization. She was really sick but made a full recovery. My dad met me in the ER. The three of us were alone together for hours on end, for the first time in several years. It was good considering the circumstances. Then it was bad because it got complicated. They made a movie about it; did you see it?? Meryl Streep even drives a Highlander.
Today was crazy at work. I got finished a little after 7 (that's radiologist speak for late). Erica had already made dinner and accomplished baths. I swept in for the final hurrah, read books, then they crashed. I don't remember sitting today, but I must have for a few minutes at a time. I did eat. It was a fun day.
I am still really frustrated with PICC lines in babies. It is the most technically challenging but banal of our procedures in IR. Bread and butter. Several a day. Technologists standing around tapping their toes. But the smaller the baby, the more difficult. Sometimes I feel like I'm gaining ground, but then I'll have trouble with a few. Like today. It is so frustrating to be in this position. Board certified, mid-year fellow, experienced, looking at another fellowship for these types of procedures, and totally screwing it up. I am capable of so many things, but that doesn't matter when I'm at the plate for one of these little kids. It WILL get better. My mantra.
I am learning so much. As the only fellow in the department, people bring me their interesting cases. They ask me questions. We look stuff up. I kind of know all the kids in the hospital - at least their images. I may never see them face to face, but I have them memorized. Lest you think it is all hard PICC lines, this is a most rewarding year to get to experience.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Back
So back to work for me today. I had the stomach bug yesterday and wasn't sure about work, but woke up OK to go. Lo and behold, it was a Little Rock snow day for no good reason. The boys had school cancelled, which would have been fine because E was off service this week. THEN she got the call that her partner was puking and had fever. Scrambling ensued; babysitter arrived. Both moms to ACH.
Hectic start to the week, but we had a great evening. Reid's hair is really growing right now. He is drooling a lot. He smiles all the time. He sat through the entire dinner on my lap with no fussing. These are the kinds of things I notice and mention at the dinner table and want to remember next year and the next and the next. Good enough reason to blog.
I got an email last night and phone call yesterday from my best college buddy, Erica, in Denver. She had twins last week. She got pretty sick; they're early but doing well in the NICU. Hopefully, they'll be out in a couple of weeks. It makes me miss my friend to know that so much is going on in her life. I've been thinking about them a lot.
I've been thinking about my dad, too, who is going through lots of transitions associated with a pending divorce. I know as a parent the feeling of hurting for my kids, and I am experiencing something similar as a kid watching a parent. It's been a rough few months with my parents. My mom got sick in September. The two of them have been "talking." He's had his own drama. It seems like their divorce happens over and over again. It never goes away, and it's always an adjustment. Ugh. I'm whining.
Good place to stop.
Hectic start to the week, but we had a great evening. Reid's hair is really growing right now. He is drooling a lot. He smiles all the time. He sat through the entire dinner on my lap with no fussing. These are the kinds of things I notice and mention at the dinner table and want to remember next year and the next and the next. Good enough reason to blog.
I got an email last night and phone call yesterday from my best college buddy, Erica, in Denver. She had twins last week. She got pretty sick; they're early but doing well in the NICU. Hopefully, they'll be out in a couple of weeks. It makes me miss my friend to know that so much is going on in her life. I've been thinking about them a lot.
I've been thinking about my dad, too, who is going through lots of transitions associated with a pending divorce. I know as a parent the feeling of hurting for my kids, and I am experiencing something similar as a kid watching a parent. It's been a rough few months with my parents. My mom got sick in September. The two of them have been "talking." He's had his own drama. It seems like their divorce happens over and over again. It never goes away, and it's always an adjustment. Ugh. I'm whining.
Good place to stop.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Forgot
I forgot to explain the title of last night's slightly drunken post. I was a pushover yesterday. Ross is a three-year-old and that's not his fault. He gets whiny. It's our fault for being pushovers, and we were guilty yesterday. A few times. After we got home, we were discussing this phenomenon with the babysitter. THEN he stayed up to watch a movie in our room. My head hit the pillow, so I wasn't involved in the movie. Erica stayed up with him. Apparently it was close to midnight. REALLY??
Lots of things to work on today, not the least of which is taking down Christmas. Working on printing some pictures. Grocery. Laundry. It keeps going and going and going. How do people keep heads above water? Is it just me?
Lots of things to work on today, not the least of which is taking down Christmas. Working on printing some pictures. Grocery. Laundry. It keeps going and going and going. How do people keep heads above water? Is it just me?
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Pushover
Today:
Ross TV, Reid blowout diapers, E to work, Leah in charge for the morning.
I took Ross to see Alvin and Chipmunks for a special date. Which was fine except my phone fell between the seats and was a major ordeal to retrieve - after the movie with the janitor-trash can-flashlight man.
Big nap, then date night for moms. We went to the Pantry and had a pleasant fairly casual evening. Then Sack at So, which didn't live up to expectations. We rode around and were thankful for Whitney. Much needed moms time.
Ross was extra cute today. He was needy and sweet and lovable.
Ross TV, Reid blowout diapers, E to work, Leah in charge for the morning.
I took Ross to see Alvin and Chipmunks for a special date. Which was fine except my phone fell between the seats and was a major ordeal to retrieve - after the movie with the janitor-trash can-flashlight man.
Big nap, then date night for moms. We went to the Pantry and had a pleasant fairly casual evening. Then Sack at So, which didn't live up to expectations. We rode around and were thankful for Whitney. Much needed moms time.
Ross was extra cute today. He was needy and sweet and lovable.
Friday, January 01, 2010
2010
Last published October 16, 2009.
Pathetic. Here resolved: a post a day for 2010. It can be one word for all I care, but it will happen. I've lost all my readers, so it doesn't matter if the posts are pathetic. No one will know!
Growing our family made for an eventful 2009. That goes without saying. There have been so many changes, small and large. Erica and I have seen our relationship come full circle in the past year and a half. Ross has become a big kid, and a new baby has joined us. Even Reid has made major changes.
Where we stand now:
I (Leah) am a pediatric radiology fellow at ACH. My job is awesome, but it would be nice to be finished training (and making real money; let's be honest). Unfortunately, that's probably a year and a half away. One more year of training (dedicated to pediatric interventional radiology) will follow this one. Time frame is July 2010 to June 2011; then start the real job. ACH is home. It is a great place to train and will be a great place to join a group.
Erica is still thriving in her job as a pediatrician, also at ACH. She takes care of babies in the NICU but has fewer hard-core responsibilities than her neonatology colleagues. She has no nights and weekends. It averages a week on/week off. She loves her job but hates being back at work after having a new baby. This description betrays the real situation, though. Erica is a super mom. She works hard, is an easygoing role model for a rambunctious three-year-old, and spends day and night breastfeeding Reid and pumping milk for him at work. And I'm here to testify. She makes it look pretty easy. We're overly busy and get stressed and forget where our keys are just like everyone else. But she keeps it together. The Braswell glue.
Ross turned three on December 13th. He didn't have terrible twos but is showing signs of terrible threes! Actually, I shouldn't say that. It's just that he is now capable of acting badly. He loves school at Trinity Cathedral's Early Childhood Education Program. His teachers (Whitney and Amanda) love him and are an integral part of raising him up. He loves Spiderman, movies, playing outside, his cousins, and all things rough and tumble. He potty-trained himself this fall and has done a great job. Diapers at night. Still has nighttime pacifier which we are fine with. Sleeps with us a lot which we are fine with. LOVES his baby brother.
Reid is now a baby with an adorable personality. He smiles and snuggles with the best of them. He was a little higher maintenance as an infant than Ross, but now he is this perfect little sweet being. Great breastfeeder. Decent sleeper. Perfect little brother. He is already laughing at Ross. He sits up if supported and has rolled front to back already. Four months tomorrow.
We really want to sell our house early this year. Our house payment and upkeep are way too much, and it's time to simplify and get back to basics. Especially if I work out my training to be done elsewhere. I've interviewed in Toronto and Boston, and have a January 28th Cincinnati interview. We need an easy place for that time period because Erica will stay here with the boys.
We are like a lot of Americans and have had lots of technology advances. Of course our iPhones help all the time; we've had them 2 and a half years now. I've become an RSS feed reader. We have an iMac, a MacBook Pro for Erica via work, and a MacBook Air for me. We are never far away from Facebook, email, and feeds. We got a new TV for Christmas with a Blu-Ray player that has wireless streaming for instant Netflix viewing and Pandora radio. We have Tivo for the downstairs TV, and it stays stocked with kid-friendly shows. I got iPhone speakers for the den for Christmas. I have a new Kindle, given to me by my dad sometime this year. It's truly all-tech all the time, and sometimes we have to take a break.
We'll be in better touch. There will be plenty of time for me to catch up on the blog so that I have a record of how the kids and family are doing. That's the plan.
Pathetic. Here resolved: a post a day for 2010. It can be one word for all I care, but it will happen. I've lost all my readers, so it doesn't matter if the posts are pathetic. No one will know!
Growing our family made for an eventful 2009. That goes without saying. There have been so many changes, small and large. Erica and I have seen our relationship come full circle in the past year and a half. Ross has become a big kid, and a new baby has joined us. Even Reid has made major changes.
Where we stand now:
I (Leah) am a pediatric radiology fellow at ACH. My job is awesome, but it would be nice to be finished training (and making real money; let's be honest). Unfortunately, that's probably a year and a half away. One more year of training (dedicated to pediatric interventional radiology) will follow this one. Time frame is July 2010 to June 2011; then start the real job. ACH is home. It is a great place to train and will be a great place to join a group.
Erica is still thriving in her job as a pediatrician, also at ACH. She takes care of babies in the NICU but has fewer hard-core responsibilities than her neonatology colleagues. She has no nights and weekends. It averages a week on/week off. She loves her job but hates being back at work after having a new baby. This description betrays the real situation, though. Erica is a super mom. She works hard, is an easygoing role model for a rambunctious three-year-old, and spends day and night breastfeeding Reid and pumping milk for him at work. And I'm here to testify. She makes it look pretty easy. We're overly busy and get stressed and forget where our keys are just like everyone else. But she keeps it together. The Braswell glue.
Ross turned three on December 13th. He didn't have terrible twos but is showing signs of terrible threes! Actually, I shouldn't say that. It's just that he is now capable of acting badly. He loves school at Trinity Cathedral's Early Childhood Education Program. His teachers (Whitney and Amanda) love him and are an integral part of raising him up. He loves Spiderman, movies, playing outside, his cousins, and all things rough and tumble. He potty-trained himself this fall and has done a great job. Diapers at night. Still has nighttime pacifier which we are fine with. Sleeps with us a lot which we are fine with. LOVES his baby brother.
Reid is now a baby with an adorable personality. He smiles and snuggles with the best of them. He was a little higher maintenance as an infant than Ross, but now he is this perfect little sweet being. Great breastfeeder. Decent sleeper. Perfect little brother. He is already laughing at Ross. He sits up if supported and has rolled front to back already. Four months tomorrow.
We really want to sell our house early this year. Our house payment and upkeep are way too much, and it's time to simplify and get back to basics. Especially if I work out my training to be done elsewhere. I've interviewed in Toronto and Boston, and have a January 28th Cincinnati interview. We need an easy place for that time period because Erica will stay here with the boys.
We are like a lot of Americans and have had lots of technology advances. Of course our iPhones help all the time; we've had them 2 and a half years now. I've become an RSS feed reader. We have an iMac, a MacBook Pro for Erica via work, and a MacBook Air for me. We are never far away from Facebook, email, and feeds. We got a new TV for Christmas with a Blu-Ray player that has wireless streaming for instant Netflix viewing and Pandora radio. We have Tivo for the downstairs TV, and it stays stocked with kid-friendly shows. I got iPhone speakers for the den for Christmas. I have a new Kindle, given to me by my dad sometime this year. It's truly all-tech all the time, and sometimes we have to take a break.
We'll be in better touch. There will be plenty of time for me to catch up on the blog so that I have a record of how the kids and family are doing. That's the plan.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Slip
Well, it's been a while again since I've posted. Time just slips away, it seems. Lots has happened. It's been a really "up" season, and sometimes I worry about the eventual down.
I passed my boards. It was a big deal. I got the letter on the Friday after I got back from Louisville. Pure elation is fairly representative of my thoughts that day. The only bad part was that I had some colleagues who didn't pass. After all the studying and planning together, that's a bit of a downer. Erica and I celebrated my finishing with dinner at Copeland's. We had never been. I even ate a steak! That's kind of a big deal for me.
I went back to work the following week, and it was fun to sit in the reading room and just WORK. No stress to worry about. Even the ringing phone didn't bother me. I gave morning conferences, dictated studies, and went about my business. We had a fun residents' day on the golf course that Friday, followed by a big party at our house for all the residents. I'm so glad we did that - people brought their kids, we catered from Reno's, and the weather held off. Lots of fun. I graduated that Saturday night. Graduation was a really nice event and dinner. I was proud to have my family there (minus Ross, who stayed with Erica's parents).
Then we left for St. Louis. What a good little trip. We drove up on Sunday and discovered why these little GPS deals are so popular! We're a couple of years late on that one. Our hotel was right across from Busch stadium - Hilton at the Ballpark. That was a great decision, and we kind of lucked into it via kayak.com. We had fun in spite of a lot of rain. Highlights: me climbing in all the tunnels with Ross at City Museum, driving and walking around the park (lots of good pictures walking around the fountain), a quick afternoon trip to the zoo, a long morning at the Magic House (favorite area = construction), lunch at Fitz's root beer, and of course the Tuesday night Cards game. We got there early and settled into our FRONT ROW seats down the 1st base line. It was hot, but the sun went down below the top of the stadium before long. Ross made friends with the little guy who shags fouls. Ross got to wear his helmet between 1/2 innings. The cards dominated. We had the complete experience and probably won't repeat such a good time. We stayed late, too, and Ross got to walk onto the field with his friend. AND he got us a foul ball, AND the girls gave him a souvenir T-shirt.
The next day, we went to the zoo for a more complete visit before leaving town. We spent a lot of time there. Erica rode on a little scooter to prevent too many contractions. It was super hot, but we managed. It was kind of like being in Orlando in July, but not quite as fun. We pretty much saw all the animals. Ross and I rode the train at the end of the day, and then it was back to Little Rock.
After the trip, back to work. I started my fellowship this past Tuesday at Children's. It has so far been exactly as I expected. It is so rewarding to FINALLY be doing what I've always wanted to do. What a blessing. And now, everyone refers to me as "our fellow." I'm in this primo moment in my career. And I feel so welcomed.
Erica, on the other hand, has had a rough couple of weeks at work. Just busier than usual. She's been dealing with contractions for several weeks now, but we are now less worried about them; our doctor has calmed some fears and said they are mild. We are almost 29 weeks, and the goal is to make it to 35 (when Ross was born). E's BP is holding stable and we're just clicking along now.
For the fourth, we went to the Travs game and watched fireworks from there afterward. It has been a fairly low-key weekend. We went swimming Friday, ate barbecue yesterday, and are headed to our friend Keller's tonight for dinner. Just enjoying our last few weeks of being three.
Monday, June 01, 2009
24
Well, I'm 24 hours away from being free of the American Board of Radiology for the next ten years (that's when I'll recertify).
I spent a lot of time debating whether or not to blog about my trip to Louisville, but I decided to record what I can remember of my trip. All radiologists hate this place. Few have any memories of their boards. When my granddad died, my dad took pictures. It seemed weird at the time (standing around a funeral home room, shaking hands with people, listening to muzak, when FLASH goes the bulb). But now I can see that my dad is probably glad he has memories of that event. Even when it's not pleasant, it's important.
Background: those of you who have had to live around me for the last four years know that it all comes down to this. All those 7 AM conferences, taking cases in front of peers, sounding like an idiot in the beginning, getting chastised for missing subtleties on the images, sweating through countless scrub shirts, etc. The only reason we have case conferences is to simulate the oral board experience. All those books and websites. All those call nights, consultations, cafeteria meals. All those quizzes, PowerPoints, duty hours, schedule requests, rotations, attendings. Everything a resident does for four years means not-a-lot if tomorrow doesn't go well. There's a lot on the line, which makes the event enormous regardless of the preparation, reassurance, and previous pass rates. The culture of radiology residency is so closely intertwined with this exam. It's what gowns and gates are to Sewanee. It's what hot dogs are to baseball, ears to Mickey Mouse. So when I sit in those 10 consecutive hotel rooms with 10 examiners tomorrow, it'll be a big deal. Even though I know I'll pass.
There's not a lot in Louisville. I got here on Sunday uneventfully. Airplanes (NWA), rental car (Enterprise Hyundai), hotel (Hampton Inn). I was shocked to see how close the Executive West Inn is to the airport. [It was bought by the Crowne Plaza within the last year, but I can't bear to think of it under that name; boards are ALWAYS at Ex West.] When I got in my little car and exited up out of the airport lot, this monument of a hotel was the first thing I saw, dominating my little horizon like some huge stadium. It's kind of intimidating! My hotel is right next door. By the way, I LOVE getting into a hotel room. I immediately unpack everything and put things in their places. It's like a clean slate moment for me, and everything fits so neat and tidily. Suit hanging up, little soap bar unwrapped, computer plugged in. I love it.
I went to a Quizno's for lunch, drove around downtown for a while, and found a local weekly paper so that I could pick a good place for dinner. I saw the U of L (there was a regional playoffs baseball game going on at Papa John Stadium), the Children's Hospital, and the Louisville Slugger museum. I was back in my room for a while, but headed out to Boombozz Taphouse for dinner. It was a good choice; lots of draught beers, good pizza, good atmosphere. Watched some TV and actually got quite a bit of sleep. Today was a little harder to fill with activities. I kept seeing examinees coming and going from the hotel next door and wishing for my own completion and closure. I went to a bookstore and a mall to spend some time. I've been in my room for a lot of the afternoon playing on the computer, learning about RSS feeds, catching up on blogs, and trying not to think about the test.
What I'll remember about this semester is the time I've spent with my group of residents, the nerves, and the support I've gotten at home. I'll NEVER think about boards without giving a silent little shout out to Erica, who helped keep me sane and allowed all those study nights. She took on proportionally more laundry, meal prep, trash take-out, discipline, phone call, errand, and planning duty. Willingly. Without debate.
What I'll remember about my residency is that thousands of patients were involved in getting me here. They all helped. A CT scan has about 400-500 images on average, if you include the reconstructions, scouts, etc. MRI has more. US has hundreds as well. If you look at 50 or 60 studies a day, plus conference, plus call and after-hours, plus what we read in books, we are exposed to thousands of images EACH DAY. Imagine what how many images I've seen in four years. It takes real people - with real diseases that hurt and make those patients throw up and bleed and drain and suffer - to make those images. I don't forget that. I will never forget that while my specialty at times makes me a little more removed from the IV poles and hospital beds and call buttons, I am indebted to real people.
So I'll finish tomorrow around noon, head to the airport, and get home tomorrow night. I'll spend much-needed time with my family and open a little letter on Friday or Saturday. Phew.
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